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Reconciliation :
HB Questions for Everyone.

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 libertyrocks (original poster member #38924) posted at 4:10 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

Had a couple dips, but for the most part HB is still continuing...and strong. Anyone else?? What do you all make of this? Or know about it? Did you all go through this too?

Makes me feel good he had sex with LTA 10x in one year and he and I 10x in first week after Dday#1.

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 10:10 AM, April 26th (Friday)]

Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.

posts: 972   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2013
id 6312943
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 4:17 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

I loved HB. We were doing it 3x a day, at least. It was so much fun. That continued for quite awhile and then FWH fell ill. We are in our late 50's and it was just too much for him.

However, it really did re kickstart our sex life and we are enjoying it very much and it is frequent, but not 3x a day anymore. (Although last Friday it was twice!) Sorry if tmi!

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 10:40 AM, April 26th (Friday)]

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6312956
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SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 4:24 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

It was wonderful. Intense and fun.

Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

posts: 1292   ·   registered: Sep. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Sunny Florida
id 6312978
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 libertyrocks (original poster member #38924) posted at 4:24 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

You're so cute, Sister!! :) You totally made me smile. Good for you guys! I hope we can be like you and H when we're that age. haha. And, THANK YOU so much for all your helpful advice. I can't express my gratitude for you.

Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.

posts: 972   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2013
id 6312981
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 4:41 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6313015
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Kelany ( member #34755) posted at 4:46 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

our intense HB with the multiple times a day lasted about 5 months after the second dday, About 3 months after first DDay but other things came into play there, but even now we still have sex a whole lot more than we ever did pre-affairs.

BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

posts: 2031   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2012
id 6313022
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Knowing ( member #37044) posted at 4:51 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

I'm so jealous! We haven't had sex more than once in a day since we met 11 years ago. Our HB up until recently consisted of 2-3 times a week. That was a lot for us. Sheesh. I knew I should have demanded more sex while I could. What a rip-off!

BW, R last 4 years of marriage out of 15... FINALLY, HAPPILY DIVORCING!

We are in R.

posts: 698   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2012
id 6313033
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Lucky ( member #6864) posted at 4:59 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥



posts: 36162   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2005
id 6313052
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 libertyrocks (original poster member #38924) posted at 5:07 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

So, is HB good? Is it a good indicator for success?? Just wondering...

Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.

posts: 972   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2013
id 6313064
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 5:14 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

Of course HB is good! However, I have read that having HB isn't an indicator of whether or not you will be able to reconcile. Just like the lack of HB isn't an indicator that you won't have a successful reconciliation.

I wish I could remember where I read that. It may have been in the Healing Library.

ETA: Ah, yes, in the Healing Library. Question #10 in the BS FAQ's. Lots of great info there if you haven't already read it, liberty.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 11:18 AM, April 26th (Friday)]

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6313079
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 libertyrocks (original poster member #38924) posted at 5:38 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

Thanks, I was looking for that. I must have skimmed too quickly.

Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.

posts: 972   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2013
id 6313122
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IGaveItMyAll ( member #38622) posted at 5:38 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

I am in Knowing's shoes. HB was really fun we felt connected like we did when we first started dating. We had sex 1 a day or every other day. Wish it lasted longer but it was better than the twice a month pattern we were on for the past 5 years Now we are at 2-3 times a week which is healthy. More is always better lol. But to answer your question it isn't an indicator of truly R. That takes hard work. HB is the fun part. Digging deep and healing together is the up hill battle we all hope to overcome.

ME-BS 34
FWW-28
M 6 Yrs
DDAY- 8/20/12
R

posts: 332   ·   registered: Mar. 4th, 2013
id 6313123
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