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I was *lurking* through your early D/S posts, but missed the explanations of stretch!! Too funny!!!

I love my independence.

I love it for you!!!

t/j

wtf is up with penis pics? It's not like they are gorgeous irl. Why in Douchedick hell would anyone want a picture of one, and what do these guys think anyone would do with said pics? Good grief. I only wanted the irl effect, so send me something I can use.

end t/j

I've always found the sight of a man with pants on far more erotic than without. Without has always made me kind of giggle.

It is a ridiculous appendage. Fun, but ridiculous looking, really.

've always found the sight of a man with pants on far more erotic than without. Without has always made me kind of giggle.

It is a ridiculous appendage. Fun, but ridiculous looking, really.

I can't remember where exactly but I'm almost certain it was a Stephen King book that had a quote something to the effect that there is nothing more ridiculous looking that a naked man with an erection. That's always stuck with me, and this just confirms it! I myself could never imagine sending a pic of....um....the little fellow...to anyone and can't believe how many other men that are out there who think that's what every women wants!!! Wow!!!

And this thread should be nominated for some awards on SI. Most one-liners. Funniest thread. etc. etc. etc. I seriously LOL'd at "in camper separation" and previously I had always thought the nickname "stretch" was because your ex was just tall....I SO love this definition better!!! LMAO!!!

I don't know about you CG9000...but I dream about the day STBXWW and her OM break-up. I'll have no problem with any new OM she has but this one, the one who knowingly and willingly helped destroy my family....well, I just pray that it ends disastrously for them. Since I can't have that....yet....I hope it's the case for you and that you get a fraction of the satisfaction that I'll get when it happens to my ex

I just woke up my baby from laughing. Seriously.

In camper separation....omg, that is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time!

ohmygosh.

saturday morning coffee + this thread = spewage.

I'd always wondered about the name too...you just can't make this shit up!!!

cg.. you can tell him he won if you like. I know it made XH's day when I told him.

*sigh*

Your poor kid...to get put through the 'big announcement' ringer and he just broke up with his skank. Shit. I don't even get it.

In camper separation

So the Bejeweled Vomit Bag Award has been created on this day April 27th 2013 in honor in honor of Caregiver9000 post.

out 10

CG, Thanks so much for the laughs. I always thought he was "Stretch" because of his height also. This is too much.

So the Bejeweled Vomit Bag Award has been created on this day April 27th 2013 in honor in honor of Caregiver9000 post.

out 10

He's been "chatty" and attempted to be familiar recently and that is just ... ICKY.

What a weird thing to call a 'surprise' and so weird to put so much fanfare to it.

I seriously wonder if the fanfare wasn't to get CG9 thinking Stretch and OW are getting M just so she'd be so relieved and hopeful when she heard they broke up and he came sniffing around again.

Somehow I missed in-trailer separation. I'm imagining masking tape down the center, maybe OW forcing Stretch to climb in and out of the window since she gets the door.

and chapter 2 or whatever chapter this morning's events are...

The "break up" surprise? wtf, he brought her to the soccer games this morning. In one car. Her car. "Family" time at the soccer field.

But she came and stood behind ME during the game while Stretch coached on the other side of field. Fucking behind me. Close enough to be a part of my conversation or at least hear it.

I am thankfully surrounded by very very dear friends and their teens and even some friendly team moms who chit chat. Meanwhile she is lurking like some sort of weird bat or bad omen.

THEN people who used to be "friends of the marriage" show up and hang with the OW. The husband speaks to me, basic chit chat. I am friendly and positive "I'm great" in response to how are you... But the wife ignores me. I don't go out of my way to speak or make eye contact either.

My children who sit with me off and on during their brother's games, both tell me "dad got a house." WTF???

I guess the in camper separation will turn into roommates in a SMALL (both boys said SMALL) house. They are financially dependent on each other and tied to the location???

Who the FUCK does this shit?? Moves in with someone you broke up with, someone you cheated with, who cheated on, has no fucking financial sense or moral compass, he's troll under a bridge ugly, irresponsible and he has his kids every other weekend. Without a doubt they will both date just as hard as they can to prove something and that is bound to be a Jerry Springer festival of fun.

Yeah.

So DS12 scored a goal. YAY.

And my friends invited me to go for biscuits after the games. I declined, grateful for the love and the support, but I came home, to my LOVELY house and my peace and quiet. PRICELESS.

small joy... OW looked AWFUL. Not that she is a prize on her best days, but She had the advantage of knowing she'd be seeing me. I showed up thinking it would be a very early morning game so I slept as late as I could, put the hair up and pulled on jeans and sunglasses. After last nights big "announcement" I was purposefully not showing up looking my best lest it send a message I cared to look good for STRETCH.

Sometimes I wish I'd picked Skew over Stretch for the nickname. Then it would describe his character and moral code too.

point: NOT a TRAILER. A trailer is too glamorous a description. It is truly a pull behind a vehicle CAMPER. IN A DRIVEWAY. You give him too much credit with trailer...

For all of you who thought Stretch was tall, I apologize. He is not tall. 5'9"? pudgy. Not at all a stretched out looking person. It was all the photo shop story...

Oh CG. Your poor son too.

I would make myself crazy if I even attempted to work this shit out.

There is something seriously wrong with that man. Stretch is an apt name - its a stretch to call him a man.

My head hurts.

"In camper separation" is my favorite terms for this week! Hahaha!

You should hear the story of my XWH#1, Limpy. And no he doesn't limp like Chester from Gunsmoke.

I came home, to my LOVELY house and my peace and quiet. PRICELESS

.

Lovely.

I've posted before about my neighbor, who is also a BS a few years past divorce now.

The camper stories on this thread are hitting next to home because EWH there also wanted their giant camper in "his part" of the settlement.

So NL (Neighbor Lady) said "ok", but cleaned the thing out and short of trashing parts of it, did what she could to be sure it had very little value left when he took it. There were not things like a sink anymore, or dishes, or cupboards to put dishes in...

I thought it was "generous" and he still got it?!

EWH and OW there, now have a "beach house" together, a trailer on a pond, literally on the other side of the tracks in the same zipcode. Said camper apparently is parked there and used for a guest condo now.

My STBX lives in a pop up camper. Maybe the two of them can get together,

Stretch and skew!

Thanks CG. You made my morning.

My STBX lives in a pop up camper. Maybe the two of them can get together,

Maybe Genius can go and live with them!

Care, what a strange morning you had at soccer. The OW has a lot of guts to do that. I'm glad you were surrounded by friends and supportive team moms. You've built such a great community around you and your children, and it's going to outlast OW, for sure!!!