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Reconciliation :
Deleting txts and sent emails: normal or not?

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doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 4:39 PM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013

Let me say that I am 99% sure there is NC between her and her AP

I would be inclined to ask you, how are you 99% sure if you, by your own statement, never check up on her? She has a looooong history of repeatedly cheating on you, and you never verify? Listen, she has lost her ability to be blindly trusted because she has destroyed that trust multiple times over a several years span up to and including this year. She has proven she's not trustworthy, and the only way you should consider trusting her is by seeing proof of her trustworthiness each and every time you check up on her and things are as they should be. Period. By offering her blind trust immediately after the umpteenth DDay, you are simply sitting in the corner waiting for another DDay to happen.

(Putting the 2x4 down, sorry)

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever

posts: 4527   ·   registered: Feb. 29th, 2008
id 6321979
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LivinginLimbo ( member #35004) posted at 4:49 PM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013

My H's Sent folder was where almost all of the correspondence was.

You do know your WW can easily ditch individual emails from the trash folder. It's not an all or none scenario.

It appears that in your heart you know something's not right, but you're not ready to deal with it. From your list of D-Days, it's understandable that you don't want to feel that pain again.

Ultimately, it's up to you to continue to turn a blind eye or take a closer look.

BS - 65
WH - 63
Married 37 years


D-Day 2/12/12
D-Day 6/1/16 Caught him back online early enough that no physical contact took place but still devastating. This sucks.

posts: 1246   ·   registered: Mar. 6th, 2012
id 6321995
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