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josie11 ( member #31648) posted at 3:27 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
For the past three years, there has been no acknowledgment whatsoever that I am the mother of his two children. He has no other children, and his mother died ages ago, so I guess he just ignores the day entirely.
No reminding or helping the kids organize a little something, either.
We were married half our lives, yet I feel that I never knew who he really was.
BS: me
XWH: Dead to me, after spending half our lives together
2 teenagers
"I get it now; I didn't get it then. That life is about losing and about doing it as gracefully as possible... and enjoying everything in between."-Mia Farrow
Alana89 ( member #25011) posted at 5:29 AM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
Yes. And he had taken them shopping for a card and a small gift.
From the start, our focus was to do our best to keep our issues to us and not involve the kids. It was very important to me that THEY have something for him on holidays and his birthday. He does the same.
As for fathers day, I take them shopping for a card and gift to give to him (their choice always). Then, when they're with him, I treat myself to a Father's Day gift. (Afterall, I'm playing both roles now.) Usually a trip to the hardware store for a 'guy' gift (usually something for yardwork). :)
BeyondBreaking ( member #38020) posted at 5:50 AM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
My daughter's dad ALWAYS wishes me a happy Mother's Day. He didn't get me a gift this year because he doesn't have very many hours at work, but he usually gets me something.
He usually sends well wishes on my birthday and all holidays as well. I do the same for him. We share a kid, and see each other every other weekend for drop-offs/pick-ups. If not more often than that (my daughter is in swimming lessons and we take her to those together sometimes, etc...). I hate the things he did to me and the person he was when we were together, but it has been three and a half years. We get along because he isn't going anywhere and hating him is just hurtful to me at this point.
I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.
"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."
Dawn4 ( member #34073) posted at 10:27 AM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
No, but I did get told how selfish and awful of a mother I am for being ten minutes late to pick up my kids, even though I warned him a half hour in advance and he knew I was coming from out of town.
Really at this point I have accepted that he hates my guts. I'll continue to be sweet as a peach to him though. I'm hoping to kill him with kindness.
I'll make sure my kids get him a card for fathers day.
" You must always know how long to stay and when to go." - Let Him Fly, The Dixie Chicks
"This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before". - Beavis and Butthead
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