SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Possible TMI here but I have to say this somewhere. My SO went away for the weekend, he coaches lacrosse for a travelling team so that part was legit. Sunday when he got home we started to fool around and I caught a bad smell when I went down on him. I know what HE smells like, I know what I smell like and this was neither. He swears that he didn't cheat and I want to believe him but what the frig else could it be? I have been frozen since Sunday night, sleep walking through my days looking for ANY possible explanation for the wrong smell. Please SI family give me hope or the truth.

Could it be a bad hygiene thing?

((((gardenparty))))

(((garden)))

I was thinking the samething as Nik.

We both work very physical jobs. I know what he smells like after work or after practice and that wasn't it.

Infection along the jock itch line of things?

I hate to be the voice of doom, but when Daffy was banging the sugartwat fairy, I remember thinking that afterglow had a pretty vile smell. In fact, that was one of the first signs. I didn't even know it was possible! Color me naive...

That said, have you noticed anything else off? Or a repeat of The Smell? I wouldn't rule out something medical or even something he ate... but it would bother me.

I'm sorry! I hope I'm just being a big ol' sexual Eeyore.

There is also the aspect of just what you referenced, your gut instinct. I'm one who tends to lend some credibility to that, and I'm far from a doomsayer.

So, if you do trust your instincts, how do you proceed?

Hmm I don't know there could be many different explanations. Have you tried googling it?!

I'm a real believer in gut instincts, it's your sixth sense. Listen to it!!! Your instincts are telling you something, now you need to further investigate. I'm sorry you're having to go through this gardenparty.

This is a tough one. Can you go into PI mode for a bit?

I think that's what I would do.

With no "real" evidence, I'd be afraid of looking paranoid and like I was bringing old baggage into the new R.

And honestly, there is a chance that this is nothing.

OTOH, I will never ignore my gut again.

Can you lay low and do some checking?

The smell was wrong. I am not put off by bad odors, am a plumber by trade but it was a rotten fish kind of smell.

I had not noticed anything else off but his behaviour is a bit different. I put it down to us both being so busy.

I don't want to be paranoid and the thought of having to dig for info again makes me sick but I have a bad feeling.

The smell was wrong. I am not put off by bad odors, am a plumber by trade but it was a rotten fish kind of smell.

I had not noticed anything else off but his behaviour is a bit different. I put it down to us both being so busy.

I don't want to be paranoid and the thought of having to dig for info again makes me sick but I have a bad feeling.

Oh sweetie, just read this as if someone else had written it. You know something is up. Now you have to decide what to do about it. Seek out more information? Ignore it and hope for the best?

TMI HERE. That nasty fishy smell definitely is a red flag, IMO. I had that smell when I had a vaginal infection - most likely from OW, via X. Gross.

I'm sorry gardenparty, but I feel like I had to tell you. ((garden))

[This message edited by kernel at 7:27 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]

Okay, not trying to be gross or TMI here either, BUT did the two of you have sex prior to his leaving? Did he shower afterwards? Uhhh...could be if he didn't, and THEN didn't shower over the weekend or when he got home that ah, stuff kinda, intensified. Sometimes if you have an infection, *you* don't smell it until sexual intercourse (unless it gets BAD!). Per my gyn - AND BV is not necessarily a STD.

That being said, I am a total believe in gut instinct - if hes not talking - then I guess you need to go into PI mode.

i smelled "that smell" on my BFF's STBXWH's face. i hadn't seen her in a long time and he stayed out most of the night because he "read the schedule wrong and missed the last train." it was the eve of her birthday. when i hugged him goodbye the next morning after not seeing him for years, he flinched a little and pulled back...i hugged him anyway because not doing that would have been weirder. then i almost gagged.

i drove the 5 hours home with a big, rotten ball in my throat and belly. he left her a week later to move in with the twatwaffle. he abandoned my friend and their two tiny daughters 1 & 3.

i triggered on your post...went right back to her living room last september.

good luck and i'm sorry that you even have to think about this. (((((gardenparty)))))

Ugh. Sorry you are going through this.

I don't think most infections smell "fishy," so something is definitely "fishy," and I would say to trust your instinct as well.

I know PI mode isn't fun, but I think you should just to protect yourself..

((gardenparty))

BV (bacterial vaginitis) DOES have a fishy smell - and like I said, you don't usually smell (meaning, your not gonna smell yourself). The smell is more apparent AFTER sexual intercourse.

DOESNT change the fact that he came home smelling funky UNLESS you had sex prior to his leaving AND he didn't shower all weekend AND he didn't shower upon return. ALSO, doesn't mean YOU have anything - just that with heat and time and clothing, smells change.

I think I was assuming she went down on him before they had sex, so the type of infections he could have wouldn't smell fishy, like jock itch or whatever, but I'm no expert..

I get really frustrated with myself when I think of all the red flags I missed, so even if it's nothing, I would still want to PI for a bit for peace of mind..

Ugh. A rotten fishy smell doesn't really occur on men unless they have a lot of foreskin and/or are not circumsized - then sometimes if they're not thorough, it's pretty rank.

If this is not (and never has) been the case for him, my radar would be going through the roof. Sounds as though he had some kind of quickie and zipped up quick to get on the road, not bothering to wash off.

Ugh. Sorry.

ETA: And TheHardWay is correct - Bacterial Vaginosis DOES have a horrible fishy odor due to the presence of more 'bad' bacteria than good in the vagina. I really hope he didn't bring something like that home to you.

[This message edited by NeverAgain2013 at 3:17 PM, May 16th (Thursday)]