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Iamhappytoday (original poster member #39051) posted at 1:55 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
I only posted one other time. I was so angry at finding out about the affair after months of TT that I didn't realize at the time that the gravity of the situation hadn't hit me yet.
It certainly hit after. I don't know what I would have done since DD#1 and beyond had I not had this resource. I have twins that just turned two. I was placing all my faith in the status quo of a marriage that I took for granted and had a hard time maintaining with young kids, but thinking things would get better with time.
I cry less often than I would have thought, yet remain paralyzed other days. I loved this person, differences or not, and never anticipated he would cheat, much less choose to live a double life, then leave us for her. Who is this stranger?
So, I change diapers, scroll through jobs, procrastinate mediation topics, and read what all of you have to say.
Because sometimes, in the shock and pain of it all, shared experiences are the only thing that gets me moving again.
Thank you all for being so sharing of your trials. I have found great comfort through you.
[This message edited by Iamhappytoday at 7:58 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]
BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:04 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Iamhappytoday (original poster member #39051) posted at 2:09 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
Thank you, NIK. I have read so many of your responses to others and learned from them. And I did need a hug :)
This is sad. I didn't know it could hurt this much.
BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 2:26 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
((((Iamhappytoday))))
You are still reading and changing diapers. You are not paralyzed. You are strong and you will get stronger.
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 2:27 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
((((Iamhappy))))
Keep posting, it helps you to get it out and gives you feedback unique to your situation.
hug your girls extra long... those kid hugs are the bestest.
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Iamhappytoday (original poster member #39051) posted at 2:49 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
Y'all made me cry. I just put the cuties to sleep for the night. Just getting to the point of not adding adjectives to their dad during prayers before bed.
At first I was just so angry, but going through the day to day, especially with everything so in flux, is often overwhelming.
Do I keep the house? How much do I fight during mediation?why does he not see that I could have reported them and gotten them both in trouble, especially since he outranks her, but didn't? Why did he choose her? Why did I get thrown under the bus for being human and not a porn star?
Sure, maybe I am better off, but that doesn't lessen the hurt or betrayal.
Which is why reading from all of your experiences has helped.
Maybe it was always about him. And if so, isn't that a shame...
BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15
clralb ( member #17185) posted at 5:08 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
(((IAHT)))
I never knew it could hurt so much either.
Take things slowly and prioritize. Develope a plan. Slowly, but surely, things will get better.
"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."
Buddha
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 5:44 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
Keep reading and posting... there is so much wisdom and support here.
Things DO get better. I promise.
(((((happy)))))
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
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