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Oh ... sorry

Truly, thanks for the excusion (is that a new word?!)

That looked like a bad one with the clouds and 'bolts'. Day-um!

I'm somewhere between a 1 and a 2. I'd prefer to do it in private but sometimes a guy just has to let one rip.

My best fart story is as follows: In college, the ex and I took a weekend trip up to Flagstaff, AZ to visit my best friend. Flagstaff is this awesome little college town that sits right around 8,000 feet in elevation and there are all sorts of cool things to do there. We had gone out drinking on Friday night and my stomach was an absolute mess Saturday morning but we decided to stick with our plans for the day and take a tour of the Lowell Observatory.

The tour was really cool. It was neat to actually be able to walk around the telescopes and hear the history behind them. Unfortunately, the further we got, the more bloated I felt. As a courtesy to the group, I did my very best to hold it.

As they tend to do on these sorts of tours, they saved the most historic telescope for last and spend the most time talking about it. The moment of truth happened as I was standing with my (at the time) girlfriend of a year and a half and my best friend in a giant dome with a group of about 15 strangers hearing all about the telescope that was used to discover Pluto. My stomach started to bubble and I knew that there was absolutely nothing I could do.

It came out silently. I was so relieved.

30 seconds later, people start to look really, really uncomfortable. The smell was pretty close to indescribable but suffice it to say, it wasn't pleasant. The ex and my friend, who had to ride with me to the observatory and were acutely aware of my problem started exchanging looks, trying their very best not to laugh. I'm looking around with a disgusted look on my face hoping everyone else will think I'm just as offended as they are. Everyone sort of rushed for the door and the tour guide finished talking about the telescope outside.

Definitely not one of my finer moments.

[This message edited by h0peless at 11:28 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)]

LOL! h0peless; I would've been like you..who? wha? yuck...

hee hee!

It DOES happen to all of us, I just hate when it happens in FRONT of others. Like damn, can't I terribly toot alone?!

My H is a 0 and the rest of us are about a 1. My 2 year old has found the humor in making farting noises and blaming everyone else. He even does this in public. He also loves whoopee cushions.

My H use to blame the baby when in public. He also works at the nursery at church and has come out after service smiling. I know he was blaming babies for his smells.

I also have a 8 year old boy and at that age they are nothing but fart jokes.

I also grew up in a home that it was funny. My sister and I would always stay up laughing at night if one of us had bad gas. We also loved to have burping contest. Bodily functions are so fun.

I'm a #3 and never admit that I would ever do such a foul thing to begin with. I've been told that it has happened in my sleep, once or twice, but I refuse to believe it without proof.

And I honestly don't understand how people, M or not, can have complete conversations and hang out when one is on the toilet.

Any SO is told up front that I enjoy privacy in the bathroom...no matter what I'm doing. If the door is closed, stay out. Do not come in, knock or even think you can talk to me through the door.

Any violation of that rule is grounds for immediate termination of the R.

IMHO, bodily functions should be kept to oneself. Hell, I even go to the rest room to blow my nose.

How about needing to pee when the Mrs is in the bath- she hates that!!! Or even just not closing the bathroom door- if I'm just peeing I don't bother with the door... that would take far too much effort.

If my wife tells me off for leaving the seat up- I tell her off for leaving it down