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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 6:50 PM on Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013
Yes. Everyday. I know however that I am not a fool, just a loving wife with a really big heart. I am willing to attempt R once more because I love my WH#2 and I really think he does love me. He is just really broken right now and I can't help him fix that. He has to do it. If he chooses not to then I can say I gave it my all before I walked away.
XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
Undone1 ( member #37683) posted at 7:39 PM on Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013
Of course I feel like a fool. How could I not have seen it, how could I not have caught it earlier.
But, I was a good loving trusting wife, which is what I was suppossed to be doing. We can't beat ourselves up. Our spouses are broken.
Undone1
Married 10+ years to my high school sweetheart
DDAY 10/27/12
Me 55
WH 55
Blended Family: 25, 21, and 20
Married 10 years
"The Universe Unfolds as it Should"
TheAgonyOfIt ( member #39114) posted at 10:12 PM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
I think it's 100 percent natural to feel like a fool. But we are not fools, we were just fooled by someone we trusted and who betrayed us. I wasn't looking for evidence of unfaithfulness, were you? no, we trusted. That's not being foolish; that's being healthy and having someone abuse us for their own selfish needs.
Know that it's okay to feel like a fool. I know that feeling extremely well!!!! But I also know that I'm not a fool, unless I stay with him, and then I probably am. But your situation is likely different from mine; you likely have more good reasons to stay.
Hang in there. This journey sucks more than anything except death.
Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Left home, job, whole life behind and difficult** adjusting. Dog injured and too much to handle. Supremely bummed out.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 10:43 PM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
Not any more....
D would have been worse for me.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 11:26 PM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
I did for a long time. Now I am proud of me. Not of his past actions but his actions now are what I look at. Honestly on bad days I break out the bible and pray for strength.
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
musiclovingmom ( member #38207) posted at 6:56 AM on Tuesday, May 28th, 2013
Yes. My H and I just had this conversation (again, for probably the millionth time). He told me he never thought I was a fool for staying with him. That it showed him how deep my love is and how fiercely loyal I am. He says he gained respect for me when I didn't kick him to the curb. When I get caught up worrying about who is spreading what gossip and what everyone else thinks, I remember that he and I are really the only ones who have valid opinions about our relationship and we both know, deep in our hearts, that we have made and are working on the right decision for us.
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