Thank you so much for your continued posts..big hugs to all. Continuing to hear you stories break my heart because I hate thinking there are others out there in as much pain as I am.
For those of you who said to be prepared that I don't know everything - THANK YOU! I was, and I found out more. He cheated on me before we were married when we were engaged. Now I guess I know how it was so easy to cheat on me after we were married? My Father walked me down the aisle and gave him my hand and he made promises before our family and friends..all the while he was cheating on me before. He was never actually committed to me and that is hard to take.
I still don't know what to do, and I feel pathetic saying that. I know I deserve better, but I feel I would regret not trying to make things work. Even if he didn't take vows seriously I did. The only thing I am willing to try is counseling. I found a good one in our area and he is willing to go - actually he suggested it before me. I will see how things go because I have never been to a counselor before and go from there as far as my decisions. For myself, I have to at least try and try for ME but I do not know if I have it in me to continue with this "marriage". This is the biggest test of my every being..
I also finally told 2 of my closest friends. It was scary to admit to be honest but I felt a weight lifted knowing they have my back.
So there is my update! Not a great one though. His words do not mean anything to me, only his actions will effect me. He has finally started taking responsibility rather than making excuses. We shall see how counseling goes.
Oh also, homewrecked2011 - I will look into that book..thank you for the rec!!