SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

SisterMilkshake,

I had added to my post while you were already posting your comment. I added that reading a lot of comments from men on men's sites made me guess that her WS is thinking this way.

I still don't think it's about the sex. I think he really loved her.

There are 2 people he has ever truly loved. She is the other one.

Amber,

You're probably giving him too much credit.

If you read here long enough, you will realize there is a certain type of male and female (personality type) who wish to keep emotional harems (sometimes physical, as well) of every person they've ever dated or been in a relationship with that they've dumped - they want to be thought of as The ONE that got away always and not feel like the bad guy cause they're all still friends - and for the ones that dumped them, they want that person who dumped them to really regret it and pine for them forever.

So while you think of him as a Big Love kind of guy torn between two women, he may just be a Big Ego kind of guy who enjoys thinking every woman he's ever touched can't get over him.

Food for thought.

My daughter (college age) is still being texted constantly by the boy who broke up with her two years ago. These type of guys just can't let go of being the No. 1 guy, even if they know it tortures the girl and keeps her from moving on. Other women, here, have endured the same thing with being called constantly despite getting dumped.

If your husband is addicted to the admiration or not, is something to figure out since that kind of thing can be problematic.

[This message edited by Heavy Sigh at 1:31 PM, May 26th (Sunday)]

Sorry for the slight t/j Amber. Heavy Sigh, so do you mean that this doesn't apply to my FWH or that it may apply to my FWH? Sorry, sometimes I need things explained more for me to understand.

Sister - I was agreeing with you. It isn't all males who think like that, but in reading blogs and so forth, I realize that there are so many who view themselves as the star, and everyone around them as revolving satellites or support staff, and they don't even seem to realize they are self-absorbed and thoughtless.

Amber's spouse seems more angry that she is angry and upset and making his life miserable (the "if we divorce" comment as a subtle threat to keep her line line and to shut up) than about his own actions that caused all of it or her pain.

[This message edited by Heavy Sigh at 2:16 PM, May 26th (Sunday)]

Okay, that is what I thought you meant, but just wanted to make sure, H S.