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knightsbff (original poster member #36853) posted at 4:31 AM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
I have to stop and smell the roses for a moment...
This morning I shed silent tears because of the involuntary shudders my BH frequently has when we touch. He fights revulsion constantly because of what I did to us. I guess this morning I was being dragged along behind or under the rollercoaster.
Fast forward to this evening...
I was at the sink washing dishes when BH gave me a hug from behind, kissed me on the neck and told me he loves me. I'm a lucky girl. 
I'm keeping this moment fresh in my mind for the next dip or plummet.
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 4:57 AM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
Those moments are very special early on in R.
Even now, I find it hard to believe we are where we are. I never thought we would get here.
I am happy for you.
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 4:58 AM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:41 AM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
Unagie ( member #37091) posted at 12:28 PM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
I'm happy for you.
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 3:27 PM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
Sounds like it was a great moment for knight too.
burntashes ( member #29446) posted at 8:08 PM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
Thanks for the post, knightsbff. I was having a down moment today and your post reminded me of the same moments I had the last few days with my husband. It's good to remember that sad moments are just that, and they don't mean whole sad days if we're able to focus on the good and don't lose hope. I'm happy for you.
Me: WW/MH 30s Him: 40s 1 Kid
LTA, not divorced
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