This Topic is Archived
Tripletrouble (original poster member #39169) posted at 9:50 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
How many of you hear "I don't know" or "i don't remember" and know in your heart it means " I'm too big of a coward to tell the truth". I mean, these are things that happened LAST MONTH not 5 years ago. And of course when you don't get an answer your mind goes to the worst possible answer and makes it true.
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
Reality ( member #39077) posted at 10:26 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
That's exactly what it means, Triple - that they are refusing to be honest.
Crash course in the "fog" is that this is standard, especially at the first.
All that fun dopamine and adrenaline that amps them up during the affair/bad behavior/whatever also makes their cognitive function go bye-bye. Yes, even science tells us they get stupid. Profoundly, tragically, destructively stupid.
If I never see the blank/confused look my husband got during the first three weeks post DD again, it still will never balance out. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
stunnedin12 ( member #38141) posted at 11:03 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
"I don't remember" has been my wh mantra for a year now. I told him Monday that if I ever hear that phrase or the phrase, "But I thought I was doing better." that I will slap him silly. I know for a fact my wh has a great memory....in fact the reason he just HAD to contact chickie a month ago was to "finish a conversation.!"
He's too much of a woose to tell me the truth on many things and thinks I am stupid enough to believe he just doesn't remember!
ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Lawyers involved.
doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 11:13 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
Mine gave me all the nitty gritty details to the time that happened 5 years ago, but "forgot" about the woman he'd slept with just 15 months prior for over a year and a half. 
You're right though, it does mean that they are too big of a coward to tell the truth.
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever
mj052 ( member #38495) posted at 12:06 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
What a tangled web we weave...when we attempt to deceive!!!
I get that blank look as well- like the wheels are halfway turning in his brain as if he's trying so hard to remember the lie that he told me. So then I hear "I just don't remember!" Yeah- whatever! I still remember the conversation that he had with our twelve year old years back when he was a man of integrity "The problem with lying- is that no one will believe anything you say!" It's really too bad he sold his soul to the devil!!
It's really kind of funny! Personally- I think the months of leading a secret life and lying has turned his brain to mush!!! The other day he had a revelation! He said that the mow had planned on moving out of state as of May 1st. I think it was his plan to keep me from asking if she was still contacting him at work!!! Wow- a fool I'm not!!!
As my very wise father used to say "A lie always has a way of making itself known!" A liar is something I never wanted to be nor be married to one!!!!! 
Trust is a fragile thing- once its lost it's gone forever!!
This Topic is Archived
