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movingforward13 ( member #38405) posted at 12:44 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2013
Sending you a hug. I am a service member and finding men to be faithful to us women, especially when deployed, it really hard. She lost big time and she will realize that years from now when you are no longer in the picture.
It is going to hurt, but the only way out of the pain, is through it. Days will turn into weeks, which will turn into months and one day, you are going to look up and say "I was fighting for her. Fuck that b!tch." If you are really lucky, indifference will settle in quicker as anger will mean you still have feelings for her. The goal is indifference, but you got to go through this painful time to get there.
Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!
hatefulnow ( member #35603) posted at 1:45 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2013
First, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!! Second, let me second stronger's advice. Let her go. The army will boot her for adultery. Same with OM. Without you, the army and OM to hold her hand, she'll crack like an egg. OM will dump her, maybe smack her upside the head for jamming him up. That will happen sooner rather than later. Men, especially POSOM, tend to do a cost/benefit analysis. As long as it's easy, cheap sex they're in. As soon as it starts costing, they're out! Trust me on this. It happened with OM in my case. It'll happen in yours.
didiknow (original poster new member #39410) posted at 5:37 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2013
The WW and OM are under a no contact order from the Army, they would be seriously stupid to violate it.
I also contacted the GF of OM and she suspected. When she confronted, he denied it, said they were just close friends, she chose to believe him but said she doesn't trust him and will let me know if there is any contact between WW and OM.
Me-BH (38)
Her-WW (27)
M Aug 29, 2010
D-day May 25, 2013
A #1 June 2012
A #2 Late 2012-May 2013
No matter what "new" information you find out, it's all just part of the same iceberg, hidden under the surface.
didiknow (original poster new member #39410) posted at 5:39 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2013
OBTW, me, ww, and om are in the same company and were all friends for years.
Me-BH (38)
Her-WW (27)
M Aug 29, 2010
D-day May 25, 2013
A #1 June 2012
A #2 Late 2012-May 2013
No matter what "new" information you find out, it's all just part of the same iceberg, hidden under the surface.
MilWife2Kids ( new member #39365) posted at 8:37 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2013
I'm sorry for what she did to you. The OW in my situation was a Sergeant who sat in a desk right next to my H. Its hard to believe that your S would step over the line with a professional work relationship. It will be hard to trust again I'm sure. But you can get through it. This place has been so helpful to me even though I just recently joined, Ive been reading everyone's posts for months. I hope you find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone. In the "I Can Relate" forum there is a military spouses link. Maybe reach out there as well. Even though A's are miserable no matter who you are, those of us in the military can really relate to deployment specific As.
Highschool Sweethearts
Me - 31
Him - 31
DDay 1 - 12 February 2013
DDay 2 - May 2015
Married - 11 years
2 children, 4 and 7
The first affair was him and a friend of ours, second affair was me with a coworker.
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