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I don't care a whit about Miss vs Ms. Don't care. I do hate Mrs. I've always hated that tag, even before I married. I think it's degrading to be titled something that belongs to a man.

I will change my surname back to my maiden name ASAP after the judge signs the paperwork. There is no hassle worse than having been married to him. Any bother I have to go through to rid myself of any tie to him will be far less than it was to be married to him.

I changed my name back to my maiden name as soon as we officially separated. No way I was keeping his name. It made me feel free going back to my name.

We have children and to be honest I didn't even think about them having a different name. My youngest wanted to hyphenate his name but the x refused. My son now says he will do it when he is an adult.

I still use my married name, but with 'Ms', which I don't mind. Personally I don't and never did like 'Miss' and have never seen why our marital status has to be clear in our titles, when men's aren't. I will change back to my maiden name when divorce final (this year). For me, dumping the wedding ring and 'Mrs' bit was liberating, part of letting go.

This is so interesting how everyone thinks.

I can totally understand why people keep their married name if they get on with their families-in-law but I've basically been treated like I've died (apart from by FIL who I am very fond of).

MIL thinks everything is my fault as she is a blame-shifting narc like her son.

And ex didn't just marry someone who is now new Mrs. Asshat, step mom to my kids. She is the OW. I in NO WAY wanted to be confused with that bar trash slunt.

Before I was married my nickname at work was "The Divine Ms M".

Once I was married I became "Mrs D".

You can guess which one I prefer.

I'm happy to report The Divine Ms M is back in the house. I absolutely adore having my own name back. One good thing about Australian Family Law is we are legally known by both names so all I had to do was show my M certificate to change it all back to my own name.

I cannot believe I changed it - my own name is so much more awesome than his stupid name. Its not even his name - its his mothers maiden name. Dumbarse.

I love Ms. Even if I never married I doubt I would be using Miss at this age.

I kept my married name for one reason: our children. We have boys. They have seen very little of their father since he left our family to live with (and marry) the OW. The kids and I are family, and ex has detached from us significantly. At one point they begged to change their last name if I was going to change mine. We all considered this, but honestly, it was just too much of a hassle. What seemed most important was to have the same name as my kids as an indication of my family solidarity with THEM, irrespective of what their dad did.

Plus there is this: OW (now the second wife of my ex husband) has the same first name as I do (we have different middle names). Ex husband begged me to change my married name back to my maiden name before he and OW married. So, you know, this sealed the deal for me. No way in hell was I gonna change my name to suit his/ow desires!

[This message edited by luv2swim at 2:55 AM, June 8th (Saturday)]

I went back to my maiden name after a long marriage and being known professionally in my married name. However, shortly after my D was final, my dad died and I was so glad that I have the name of the only man who ever truly honored me.

I don't use any of them. Have not had a problem and it's been 9 years since I went back to my own identity.

I find nowadays most people will call you by your first name or first and last, when calling you to come for your appointment or whatever.

Miss. Mrs. Ms. are dying out except when you are addressing ladies older than you.

I was Mrs. Niblet at one time, I proudly wore that name like a badge of honor.

Fast forward many years, Son1 and Son2 are both Niblets, so I chose to also remain a Niblet.

To me it doesn't matter if there are other Mrs. Niblets to follow...I was the first, and Honey, let me tell you, I was the best.

Just like the saying goes, "Often imitated, never duplicated", that's me: Ms.Niblet, now until the end of time.

Amen.

I changed back to my maiden, mostly because I am getting my doctorate and dammit, I want that to be Dr. Maidenname. I was thinking that I havent yet published or worked in my field so it would be an ideal time to change. I also thought ahead -- wouldn't change it again, so if I got remarried but still had ex's last name, that's just... that felt wrong. So I figured I would just switch now and keep it, no matter what. Ex was put out, I think, and my parents thought it was wierd. My kids werent thrilled but it doesnt really affect them much. I'm pleased now, 6 months later, that I changed it, though I am still finding stuff I didn't change!

I kept my married name.It's shorter than my maiden and I've had it 27 yrs. It's my name.

I use the MS. I don't feel like a Miss. It sounds very young and I'm not. Definitely not a Mrs any longer.

Twatwife is now the third Mrs Gma.(1st wife died 20 yrs after their D) I hope it bothers her but doubt it since she fucked him when I was his wife.

Gma

While we are still technically married, so I use his last name for legal purposes (tax returns, and FICA). I use my name for everything else. My checking account, fb, lease, ect. I can't drop his name fast enough. I want MY name back!

With xWH#1, I was teaching and had 2 kids and felt it was easier to keep my married name.

When I married current WH, I changed my name to his. BUT, now that I've decided to D (not sure when) I can't wait to get rid of any trace of that POS, even though we have 2 kids together!!

I think there is no right or wrong answer to this question - you need to do what works for you. It seems like something you need to do in your situation to get the point across to your STBX. Personally, I wanted my own name back. My in-laws were actually hurt that I did it, but they understood. My kids thought it was a given.

I kept my married name. I asked about this in an etiquette forum once, and was informed that "technically" I am still "Mrs. Z" but I personally don't like that, so I use "Ms." instead.

If I ever get remarried to a man, I'd take his name; if I were to marry a woman I would either take her name or we would both take a new name.

As the only guy chiming in here, I just wish we would go with MR. for men and MS. for women and be done with it. It would be a whole less confusing than trying to figure out if it is Miss, Ms. or Mrs.

If someone - man or woman - is married, that should be obvious in how they act. IMO it is not so important in their signature. It's not the dark ages where women need a husband for legal stuff anymore. But there are enough names that can be for either a man or a woman that having a title does help reduce the confusion.

I have grown children, so am keeping my married name. My two SILs, also with children, went to a hyphenated version of their maiden and married names.

gahurts wrote:

I just wish we would go with MR. for men and MS. for women and be done with it.

I agree! A man doesn’t have any new title for being married, so neither should a woman.

OR, if we want to recognize a person as being legally married, do so for both partners: e.g. MRM (married man), MSM (married woman).

[This message edited by luv2swim at 3:42 PM, June 9th (Sunday)]

For those of you who kept your married name, doesn't/won't it bother you when your ex remarries?

Nope, not at all. I've had this last name for 21 years. The wifetress has only had it for 4 months, if she's using it at all. It doesn't bother me at all for her to know that I'll always be the first Mrs. Ex Lastname, and that she got my sloppy seconds.