How did your WS inform his/her family? Was that healing or hurtful for you?
Oh! The drama.
I could nominate exW for an Oscar.
On D day, she actually caught the PI watching her and gave him a mouthful. She came home from shopping groceries.
I came home after half an hour and she was with OM on the phone. I was preparing coffee to relax and she comes to the kitchen and says " be careful , I'm warning you. I know what you are doing and you'll have to suffer the consequences. I'll contact the police if anything happens to me".
I didn't know about the PI getting caught. I just told her to stop shooting arrows in the dark and tell me what happened.
She said " you know what you are doing and stop it before this turns ugly" ( I came to know later she thought I had hired a hitman 
)
I acted normal and asked her to keep all conversations limited to DS only.
She said " I will call the police and register a DV and mental torture because this is torture".
That's it'! I had enough of police threats ( she is a cops daughter)
I told her that she was having an affair and she was caught. She was struggling to keep a straight face and calm voice. I told her what I had found out and she denied everything.
While confrontation, she called up her brother and spoke to him in front of me. She said I am accusing her of an A. She also told BIL that first I tortured her and now this. " how much am I supposed to take?"
I was naive and told her that if she loved OM and he could take care of DS then let me go.
At this she said to her brother " oh! He's showing his big heart"
BIL asked her to leave the house. She said " why should I leave this is my house" ( lease was under her name)
She called up exMIL so she could listen to our conversation. MIL couldn't understand a thing.
I met FIL and told him everything. His daughter had already prepared him for what I was going to say, but, the level of detail was difficult to write off. In the middle of the conversation he actually took the name of OM saying " is it @OM". At that point I knew OM had been introduced to the family.
FIL promised he would take my side and told me to forgive her. He also used a rusted movie dialog which meant " the forgiver is bigger than the guilty"
In half an hour I eavesdropped him talking to his daughter who brainwashed him like a crisis negotiater with tons of experience.
FIL told me such a person of OM's description did not exist in exW 's office. Come on dude !
ExW 's elder BIL was shown the evidence and he was convinced.
He also asked me to forgive her. I said I am willing but exW is not letting go of OM.
I told her elder sister in Georgia, and she did not reply, she was shocked at the allegations. This was on Internet chat. I gave her details no on could deny.
Nothing helped. ExW lied and and lied and covered up. Her main theme was that I had tortured her and when she threatened to go to the police, I was accusing her of having an A to get out of the marriage.
Whatever she did helped her cause.
Her side of the family was convinced that I was never a good H. I left her to go to an international work assignment. I was abusive. I was nearly impotent. And their daughter bore it all silently all these years for the saie of her M. So that is why exW needs to get out of this toxic M, A or no A, and needs to find herself a food H who will not be incompetent like me.
During financial negotiations her family tried to extract a lot of moolah from me, but, being from a family of investors and bankers, my mother had a habit of keeping records. All false claims were reduced to dust.
She was given what she invested in her M and let go.
