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Zayda1 (original poster member #35387) posted at 6:12 PM on Wednesday, June 5th, 2013
We are 13 months into R and I have been finding myself really struggling for the last few weeks.
I have restarted have random mind movies, can't control my emotions and am feeling so much more rage then usual. I desperately want the AP to hurt like I'm hurting, then I tell myself this is between me and WH and has nothing to do with her. I can't keep my thoughts straight. One minute I want to vomit and the next I want to be with him.
Please tell me this is normal. I feel like the roller coaster has sped up and I feel so out of control. Am I going crazy?
Married 10 years, together for 12 years
2 children (9 years & 6 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12 (It only lasted a "couple of weeks" but it still shattered my world.)
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 7:03 PM on Wednesday, June 5th, 2013
Am I going crazy?
Nope I'm going through it again, except I start hysterically crying right after the rage.
I think this is year 2 and while year 1 I would categorize as the worst, year 2 so far has not been much better.
I am feeling so overwhelmed by the long list of how my WH betrayed me. I hurt and am currently in deep pain so I tend to want to lash out.
I hate this rollercoaster I really do.
Just this morning I told WH that I want to die, that I don't want to live the rest of my life with this pain. 
(((Zayda1))) I hope this passes for all of us.
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 1:04 PM, June 5th (Wednesday)]
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
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