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Just Found Out :
The sad reality of my life

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stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 11:45 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

The good news is that you made the dreaded decision. Most people have a difficult time just deciding on what they want to do. Now on to S/D. Take your week off and have some fun. When you get back seek out some sound legal advice. Perhaps even retain an attorney. Don't bet the farm that she be civil during this process. Don't be overly generous in your haste to finalize. Give her what the law allows and that's it. Be fair yet firm. Its obvious she is still fogged up. And like it or not its best to file now while she is still in la la land. They tend to be more cooperative when they attached to the OM. Once he dumps her and he most likely will. She will turn her anger on you. So best to move while the iron is hot.

[This message edited by stronger08 at 5:46 PM, June 13th (Thursday)]

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

posts: 6851   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007
id 6373308
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Josephine01 ( member #38511) posted at 5:45 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013

Good Luck Shockedman. I know you can succeed in whatever road you chose because this is probably one of the most courageous choices that you have ever made.

Me, 47 BS
H, 65 WH
2 boys 23 and 18 years old
Married 24 years

posts: 524   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2013
id 6374180
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libertyrocks ( member #38924) posted at 6:13 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013

Ok, I'm going to play the devil's advocate here.

You just registered, no profile. When was your dday? I understand your pain. On my first Dday, FWH let me leave for a weekend.

Now, he's fighting tooth and nail for "us." I can't express enough how much of this is a process and not a bottom line answer. I'm the most impatient person and wanted all this to end.

IMO, there is way too much going on the catagorize everything, let alone process it right now. You two are both raw to the bone.

Sounds like you're gonna party...try not to drink too much and have a RA (revenge affair). You will hurt yourself even more. I've been warned many times by others here.

You're upset and pissed off. Even sad and hurt. It's too early to decide anything...

Look at me, I'm 7 months out, one day I love him, the next I'm plotting to leave- sometimes in the same day hours apart..

I tend to be an extremest, one minute I'm holding telling him I will do anything to be with him, the next I'm thinking, I"m so out of here! For me, it's the uncertain nature of "processing" all of this.

Just yesterday at MC, I told H that I would give it a year to heal, but I'm not sure of true R, yet.

Also, I don't think your W knows how to process everything or even what she wants at this point.

I was 0-3, when this first started. Now, we're both winning.

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 3:43 PM, June 14th (Friday)]

Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.

posts: 972   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2013
id 6374223
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