SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I didn't get more than 4 hours of sleep on any night for the first 18 months after DDay. No matter what I tried, I always woke up at 4 hours or less. It was awful! Sleeping pills didn't even help.

Glad to report that after that 18th month, I've had no problems sleeping since then. Whew!!!!

Well, I stopped the sleeping pills cold turkey after three months. It was hard to fall asleep at first and I still wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning thinking about the stupid A.

Having said all that, I now think that my WW would be making a mistake to leave me and she seems to finally realize that even if it's hard for her to admit it -- my story, she might tell you something different.

I reason myself to sleep when that happens. I tell myself I'm a good person and deserve good things. The 180, which took me three months before I was finally able to start pulling off, helped me detach.

Feeling that I can live a happy life with or without my wife helps me accept the stupid A and eventually get back to sleep. However much I hate the OM, I know my life will be better than his no matter what. He's a douchebag who invited destruction into his life, I'm not. We're also in the same industry. If we go ever go head-to-head on anything, I'll have a lot of rightous motivation to crush his ass. And I'll do that without ever doing anything that could land me in trouble. I don't need that and love my life (except for the A).