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Just Found Out :
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 roxyl01s (original poster new member #25121) posted at 11:44 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

What fool I am. It's true once a cheater always a cheater. The crazy thing is I'm so numb I don't even care. Don't know what to do. We have 3 boy's the youngest is 6 weeks. I really thought he grew up.Cheating is awful he might as well of taken me on national television and shit on my face. I'm that don't women I would so sorry for.He said sorry yes it was just texting but I'm sorry after the 1st time you cheated on me with a women you had sex with several time.....it's cheating g. I'm dang at least hook me up with a huge ring like Kobe Bryant did when he cheated. I can't keep doing this I'm really thinking I want a divorce.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change COURAGE to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

posts: 40   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2009   ·   location: orlando
id 6375479
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 roxyl01s (original poster new member #25121) posted at 11:46 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

The plus side is I will drop the baby weight faster. Last time he cheated I got down 135 & I am 5"10

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change COURAGE to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

posts: 40   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2009   ·   location: orlando
id 6375482
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de.va.sta.ted ( member #22922) posted at 11:47 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

So sorry that you've had to find your way back here through his awful choices.

6 weeks post-partum is hard, do you have any support?

We're here to listen...

Me: BW Him: WH D-Day 1: February 2009 D-Day 2: April 2018 Divorced!

posts: 1052   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2009
id 6375483
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 11:48 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

I'm so sorry, roxy.

It's probably time to work on that change of gameplan.

(((roxyl01s)))

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6375484
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 roxyl01s (original poster new member #25121) posted at 11:57 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

I have tons of support I'm very lucky my Dad said he will give 38 percent of the company if I come back to work. But really just want to enjoy the summer with my boys. My husband is great father just a shifty husband.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change COURAGE to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

posts: 40   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2009   ·   location: orlando
id 6375494
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 roxyl01s (original poster new member #25121) posted at 12:00 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

I'm just embarrassed to tell anyone. That's I'm here. I didn't give my Dad full details just enough that he wants sit my husband and talk him and maybe take a bat to his head (not that he would really do it)

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change COURAGE to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

posts: 40   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2009   ·   location: orlando
id 6375500
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RockyMtn ( member #37043) posted at 2:23 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

Glad you have support. I can understand not wanting to tell people. Take your time.

((roxy))

Me, BS, 30s
Him, WS, 30s, Steppenwolf
Kids: Yep
D-Day 1: September 2011, 6 week EA
D-Day 2: January 2013, discovered EA was a PA; there was another PA in 2010. All TT.
Goal = serenity.

posts: 667   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2012
id 6375590
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Jospehine85 ( member #35971) posted at 2:53 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

(((Roxy101s)))

A friend of mine with 4 boys left her husband after almost 20 years of marriage. When anyone asked her why, she answered "Some people are just not meant to be married to each other". She gave that answer like a broken record. People got the hint and stopped asking.

You owe no one an explanation. Reach out and only tell the people you are looking for support from: your dad, SI, etc.

Concentrate on you and your new baby. Remind yourself to take pictures of your new baby right now. It would be very easy to let that slip as your mind is going to be on other things.

Me - BS
WH - old
Kids
Dday May 2012

posts: 1598   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2012
id 6375606
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Getting to Happy ( member #35200) posted at 3:02 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

(((Roxy))) I am so sorry that you are back. What a drag!

But-

The plus side is I will drop the baby weight faster. Last time he cheated I got down 135 & I am 5"10

Infidelity is not funny but that^^^is!

Hang in there my dear. Keep posting, we will see you through.

WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown

posts: 1254   ·   registered: Apr. 1st, 2012   ·   location: La La Land
id 6375619
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Blackhair ( member #39451) posted at 3:18 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

Roxy,

Sorry to hear that you are here, but this is a great place to get great support when you re not ready to just D and run.

I am in very similar situation, had 8 months old twin boys, H decided to go online and talked to a Philipine girl, he even flew there twice to meet here. I got so much information and support here.

Take your time, the first few days is the most difficult part, later you will be clear/sure and have the courage to decide what is the best for you and the kids.

Don't forget to enjoy your baby, I know it is hard.

Hang in there!

M: 10 years both late 40s.
3 Children
DDay: April 2013
Legally separated on Oct 2013.
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 5th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6375635
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 roxyl01s (original poster new member #25121) posted at 3:18 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

Thanks for the kind words. It really hasn't hit me yet.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change COURAGE to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

posts: 40   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2009   ·   location: orlando
id 6375636
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1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 7:46 PM on Monday, June 17th, 2013

Roxy

You are not a fool. You loved and trusted your husband. That makes you a loving and caring person not a fool.

You have been down this road before so your being numb is completely normal. Of course you are numb. It is also your body's way of shutting off the hurt/trauma.

What were the consequences you gave him last time if he cheated again? Are you prepared to follow through?

He hasn't stopped cheating because he hasn't had to.

You and your boys deserve, honesty, truth and love.

Seek an attorney to get information. Knowledge is power. You don't have to decide right now to stay or go but you need to gather all the information you can.

Look up the 180 and start it now. Take the power back.

YOUR job is to heal you, not worry about saving the marriage or protecting him from your feelings and pain.

Please consider IC.

It is normal to want to rip his heart out, along with other body parts.

For me it was hard to get a sentence going with out a string of curse words I had never ever thought of before! I hated him and loved him all in one second, all the while needing him to hold me as I was disgusted by the sight of him.

I learned this was HIS choice and had NOTHING to do with me, or our marriage. My husband simply chose to escape his personal problems in fantasy land. It was ANY body, she was not important. What was important was the excitement of the affair, the belief that he was so irresistible . What he learned was that a woman that would sleep with a married man, would sleep with ANY man.

I am sorry for you and hope you will take care of yourself and your children.

Give yourself time to breathe and know that we are all here to support you.

Good luck. You can make it.

Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for

posts: 4131   ·   registered: Apr. 12th, 2013
id 6377231
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