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Misfit123 (original poster new member #38471) posted at 5:14 AM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
I wrote this email to my BH last night. He said it meant a lot. And I meant every word.
Hi Mr. M
I just wanted to tell you that I Love You. It’s like I can finally see clearly. The fog has lifted. I want You and I want our marriage to work and be better than before.
I have learned a lot about myself and am very grateful for the counseling I have received. I see the terrible choices that I have made. How some of those choices started out so “innocently”, and thru time progressed to more emotional reliance (or dependence or addictiveness). And so went further into worse choices, and worse betrayals.
You are a wonderful man. I Am So Grateful That You Did Not Give Up On Us!!! You deserve so much better than you have received from me. And I want to make it up to you. I am going to continue to work on myself and us, through reading and counseling, journaling and reflection, and being open and communicating.
I am truly sorry that I betrayed you, our love, and our marriage vows. I almost let go of the best thing that has ever happened to me, having You in my Life. You and our wonderful daughters.
We have been thru a lot together, and I do hope and believe that we can get thru this too. With changes on both our parts, honesty, transparency, being genuine, we are on a good path to a wonderful future.
Love You Honey
M
FWW 40's
BH 50's
2 kids
EA D day 8-2011 (wasn't truthful- EA was actually PA also)
PA D-day 1-29-2013
some TT after
working on R - taking it slowly to try to get it right :-)
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 6:15 AM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
That's a great letter. 
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 7:15 AM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
I'm so glad that you feel that way, and that he was able to feel good about what you had to say.
This is a great step.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 7:22 AM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
I think this is a great letter to your BH. Keep saying/writing these types of feelings to him. It will help with his healing, even on the darker days when it doesn't feel like it is doing any bit of good. It really does help. Especially when you mean every word. Very well done.
Pudding ( member #37168) posted at 12:27 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
Well done and thank you. I wish I could get a letter like this from my FWH
SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 12:57 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children
"Your secrets keep you sick"
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 2:16 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
These are the kinds of gifts that BSs cherish. You can read it any time that you need/want to. You can hold it and see it. If you fold it up and put it into your drawer, you see it every time you open the drawer.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
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