SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

She had nothing to lose is exactly right. My WS lost his marriage, friends and family and she gained a rebound in the middle of her divorce and a surrogate dad for her toddler. He still doesn't understand why some of his family thinks she's not a good person.

It stressed me out to no end in the beginning that he was so gullible. But ultimately we never really know how much of it is calculating, selfish or just plain stupid on each of their parts. In the absence of that knowledge, I decided the only thing to do was let it go. I still secretly hope it all blows up in their faces :)... But I went NC so they could stop putting their problems and issues on me and have to live with their decision to be together and take away the fantasy part of the affair.

To whatever degree you can separate her actions from your emotional life, do!

That is what I thought of. I didn't report her so that her children would be protected. When she was "living in the moment" she ripped my whole damn life apart. That's my interpretation of what being a "good" person, let alone a Christian, means to me. But I don't mean to turn this into a religious thing either.

I totally understand this. I did the same thing at first. She had two small children and I didn't want them hurt even though she tried to destroy my marriage and my family (we have 3 children)

I commend you for your faith. YOU are demonstrating the true meaning of Christianity by taking the higher road and placing others before yourself. Inspiration. Thank you for being the kind generous person you are.

I do want to encourage you to figure out if communicating with her will help you heal.

Not reporting her to the Army but you just reaching out to her for yourself.

I did with the OW and it was a mixed bag of results. I just needed to let her know how I felt and truly wanted to understand how she could be so cavalier with and my family. I did get an apology but it still didn't answer the question on HOW and WHY this happened.

I said my peace and still had a long road to recovery but at least I didn't regret not saying my peace.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck and thank for the reminder of what honesty and goodness look like. My angry hat must have been on during my first response.

(((hugs and prayers)))

Gave in and went looking again today. Since we're not "friends" (LOL LOL LOL) it's only her photos which haven't changed since last week. OTOH, this thread has helped me keep the desire at bay. I also found out this is at least the second married man with whom she had an affair. It seems different knowing that although I don't know why.