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Divorce/Separation :
Should I or shouldn't I?

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 Catwoman (original poster member #1330) posted at 6:28 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

We are due in court the first week in July. As I have previously posted, he is threatening to cut off support to our oldest if I do not "drop the complaint immediately." Fortunately, he has put this all in writing.

So the question is . . . Do I wind him up good or not? Depending on whether he hires an attorney, I am contemplating having a lovely $15.99 gem from Kohls on the appropriate hand. It would set him off. Might make him arrogant and inappropriate.

Downside is that he will pump the kids for info.

Thoughts? I normally try and err on the side of calm and caution, but yesterday's exchange cheesed me off but good.

Cat

PS: I filed pro se, but then engaged my attorney. He probably thinks GDM is representing me. He has no idea I am represented.

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33182   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 6384527
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tabitha95 ( member #22033) posted at 6:39 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Would he notice the ring? I don't think my EX would.

BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

posts: 3266   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2008
id 6384531
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Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 8:28 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Cat, I think this might be the first time I've seen you considering playing that kind of game. Don't. You're better than stooping to his level.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

posts: 14469   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2011
id 6384594
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 8:43 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

As my mom is *always* telling me...don't poke the bear.

Or think of grumpy cat asking you to please refrain from petting the drama llama.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6384610
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ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 8:52 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

I think I would take the ring off even if I was actually engaged.. Your personal life is none of his business.. I wouldn't be trying any extra emotional jabs. This is about business, and I would keep it as professional and unemotional as possible.. I know it's tempting to try to hurt him, but I would shoot for indifference in this case and keep working towards that..

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6384621
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 9:29 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

FT plays games that hurt my DDs. So, I completely understand the desire to wear the ring. I GET IT!

That said, I know in my case he would retaliate somehow. So, I do not think I would poke the bear.

And, like Butterfly Girl said your personal life is none of his business, and if he thinks he got to you, he wins. So I vote don't do it.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 6384648
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