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7yrsflushed ( member #32258) posted at 9:32 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2013
Now.. all I see is the face of a woman who did HORRIBLE things to those who love her and who she is supposed to love.
This for me as well. After I detached I no longer saw my STBXWW, it's more like I saw through her. It was like looking at a shell of a person. Once you KNOW who they really are they never appear the same again. They physically may look the same but they aren't. When I see her now I see someone that had no respect for me or our family but most of all no respect for herself and it's sad because she is completely and utterly oblivious to it. So I choose not to even look at her because what I see makes me feel pity for her and the fact that she will likely never "get it" but hey, that's not my problem anymore. 
[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 3:34 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]
D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!
heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 10:21 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2013
STBXWH would use eye contact to manipulate me. I realized what was happening at one point and made a conscious decision to stop looking at his blue eyes. I had to stop for my own mental health.
It helped greatly with detaching and turning him into "that guy I used to know"
It's almost like a mantra now... don't look at him, don't look at him....
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
sunshine226 ( member #38851) posted at 12:22 PM on Thursday, July 18th, 2013
Oh wow, what a perfectly timed topic
WH was here for a visit last week (first time in almost 16 weeks, and the day after I sent him texts that I was letting go, coincidence???)
Anyway, the next day I realized that while he was here I didnt really look at him, I know what he was wearing, but never really looked him in the eyes or anywhere in the face, didnt do it consciencely, but I realize after, it was my brains way of protecting myself.
I have fallen back into his arms, just by looking at him before and although I didnt think about it until after he left. I didnt do that this time and I am so very proud of myself, he didnt suck me back in this time
But of course that was a week ago and he is gone back out with the OW living their happy lies
Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him
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