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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

Reconciliation :
And now... An Std... Will it ever end?

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 thebirdcage (original poster new member #39274) posted at 5:07 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

Short run down:

-Lost our first baby in March

-Dday April (sex twice with his ex gf)

-Have some hysterical bonding a few weeks after dday

-Decide to R around the same time

-Have been in MC and IC since two weeks after dday and R is going well

- find out I am pregnant again (high risk pregnancy due to disorder I found out I had after the loss of my son) and am currently 9 weeks

I got an STD test right after dday and was all clear. He just got his results this week and has herpes. I asked for everything during my and test but am not afraid that the herpes wasnt included. I want to continue R and we have a baby on the way. I am going to call my doctor first thing tomorrow morning to get retested. My main concern now is passing the herpes to my baby and I read some scary things about if you contract it in your first trimester the baby can contract it in utero. The odds are very low of that happening but after what I've been through I don't consider myself the exception. If its out there, it will happen to me. Also- if I do t have it. How do I continue a sexual relationship with him, who does have it. He's just totally beating himself up about this- seeing the full scope of the consequences of an incredibly stupid decision and how one moment can change and ruin so many things.

Has anyone been through this?? Any advice?

posts: 30   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2013
id 6385012
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Knowing ( member #37044) posted at 10:22 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

I hope everything turns out ok for you. Be sure to look into the herpes testing. From what I remember it's only really possible to be diagnosed while in an outbreak, and the initial outbreak happens several days to a few weeks after exposure.

BW, R last 4 years of marriage out of 15... FINALLY, HAPPILY DIVORCING!

We are in R.

posts: 698   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2012
id 6385099
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SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 3:38 PM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

I'm sorry that you are now dealing with this possibility. Ugh, the unforeseen consequences of affairs-

[This message edited by SoVerySadNow at 9:39 AM, June 24th (Monday)]

Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

posts: 1292   ·   registered: Sep. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Sunny Florida
id 6385281
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painpaingoaway ( member #27196) posted at 3:48 PM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

I'm so sorry Hun. I bumped up our STD thread down in I CAN RELATE for you. Hopefully you can get some answers there.

He's just totally beating himself up about this

Good! He needs to be.

Let us know what you Dr says about this.

I'm so sorry.


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 6385292
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