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Newest Member: mkei

Reconciliation :
R is not linear

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 LA44 (original poster member #38384) posted at 2:16 AM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

It's been a rough week or so with a few blow ups sprinkled in here and there. I know the next two weeks will have its moments. Going "home" always does even in good times.

My H "talked me down" at 5:30 am today. I was throwing my underwear in a bag when I didn't really want to be doing that at all. I had to stop and listen and just settle down. I bit my tongue as karmahappens suggested a few days ago. It was the right thing to do. He was really trying.

Anyway, we all have to remember that R is not linear. We go forward, we go back but then we go forward again and again. We will get there.

Slow and steady wins the race right?

LA

[This message edited by LA44 at 8:16 PM, July 4th (Thursday)]

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

posts: 3442   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Canada, eh
id 6397561
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Lostinthismess ( member #39210) posted at 5:50 AM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

I want a like button, because just yes. I wish I could just stay on a straight path. The backs and forth is just exhausting. Slow and steady wins the race......

'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'

posts: 401   ·   registered: May. 8th, 2013
id 6397674
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c1n1m1n ( new member #37042) posted at 6:27 AM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

Sounds just like my life right now...I'm 9 months since I found out. I too have been "throwing my underwear in a bag"...seems once every three weeks or so. I try to stop and look back at the progress and not concentrate on that "trust" thing too much. Baby steps.

"Tell the truth, or eventually someone will tell it for you."

“Change happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.”

posts: 6   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2012
id 6397693
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karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 2:03 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

I am glad you got through it.

(((Hugs))))

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 6397819
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yogaga1 ( new member #36922) posted at 3:50 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

Needed to read this today. Things have been great- just got back from a lovely vacation together that we needed. Then...boom, crash, etc! Back in the pit this week.

Just breathing right now!

posts: 37   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2012
id 6397933
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jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 4:17 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

When I was at your point, I packed the car up twice. I haven't don't that now in a long time but R is not a straight line

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

posts: 1849   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2011   ·   location: midwest now.
id 6397966
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sri624 ( member #33956) posted at 7:55 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

just yesterday, i told him he could "get the f out." and meant it. up and down. that is for sure.

BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
R:Last chance

posts: 1065   ·   registered: Nov. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Alabama
id 6398261
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foundoutlater ( member #32900) posted at 9:09 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

I have not seen anything linear in my life since we had kids LOL. You are so dead on right R is not linear. I’ve know even when my W is doing everything right I still go sideways and backwards and forwards and summersault.

Glad you were able to find a path that worked

Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

posts: 1409   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2011
id 6398349
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