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starmoonchild (original poster member #39117) posted at 9:35 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
I e-mailed the OW and told her that if she knows that he is concealing truth and if he gave her an engagement ring last year, to please find a way to tell me and then he is completely hers....I am sure she will do this, as I am sure they have had contact in the last 6 months since the 3rd DDay. He swears no, no, no but I have my intuition telling me it's true and things that happened point to it being true. He has said there are no more lies but I have caught him in that lie stare a few times, does anyone ever get that? He will stare for a full 10-15 seconds and then answer a question. He has never avoided my eyes when he has lied. So now I wait for her to tell me, somehow. I am hoping she does anyway. But it is scary, going on alone after 41 years, but it is also exciting. The thought of no more lies, maybe not so many mind movies, re-starting my life. I simply cannot stand the thought of continuing to try to reconcile if he is still concealing things, and especially if he has seen her. I mean, I gave him three chances. Two more than I should have, I fear.
doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 9:39 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
So you emailed OW, told her that if she just tells you that she's had contact with WH in the past few months that he would be hers, and you wonder if she'll tell you the truth? You should have just gone to the courthouse and filed D papers since it appears that you want the M to be over. You threw a bucket of blood into shark infested water, and you wonder if the shark will bite?
I get the desperation, I really do. But telling the OW that she can have your WH if she tells you they've had contact almost guarantees that you'll not get the truth, and you also will forever wonder if she lied about the continued contact in order to get your WH. It's a no win situation, unfortunately you can't take it back now.
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever
SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 9:45 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
She's going to say they are engaged, in constant contact and soulmates.
Regardless of the truth.
Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
RightTrack ( member #36976) posted at 2:15 AM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013
I told OW she could have my lying cheating POS WH. ( I responded this in an email to her on DDay after finding her email to my WH).
But, that wasn't what my WH and he's spent the last year showing me that.
Tell your WH he's free, tell the OW she can have him. If he wants back in he'll have a lot of work to do.
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