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Divorce/Separation :
Prayers/good thoughts for my kidlets (and me)

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 Griefstricken25 (original poster member #29183) posted at 5:49 AM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013

In a little less than 36 hours, I will be handing my children over to their sperm donor, who hasn't seen them in person since January, 2011. This is a man who is addicted to teen/college porn, likely into some other kinky deviant sexual stuff, and has admitted to viewing child porn. He will spend 2 days in and around our city, for the children to get used to him, then he'll take my 10 and 6 year olds 8 hours away to his mother's farm. 3 days later, I will take my 3 year old halfway, where he and his mother will pick her up. My 3 year old, who has NEVER been away from me more than a night or two and that was with my parents, who she sees multiple times a week, is going to spend 5 days with people she doesn't know, and a father who has the potential to molest her, since he seems to have a thing for little/young girls.

So. Please pray or think protective thoughts for them. I have been praying my heart out about this, and also for peace for myself. I DO need the break (I parent 100% solo), and I don't want to spend it fretting.

Also, on Monday, WXH and I have a meeting at the bank to finally split anything joint we've had (we couldn't do it before now because he lives out of the country). This will slightly (or more than slightly) rearrange our financial arrangement, and I'm afraid the children will be the ones who get stiffed in the end. They and their activities are getting more and more expensive, AND WXH's income goes up, but we never see a penny more. Because he's overseas, there isn't the mandatory sharing of income tax returns. So please pray and send mojo for that appointment, and that my kids don't get screwed by their cheapskate sperm donor.

Thanks, SI.

Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

posts: 2596   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2010   ·   location: A better place
id 6406627
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peridot ( member #18334) posted at 5:55 AM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013

(((Griefstricken25)))

I said a prayer for you and the kids.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6406632
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dmari ( member #37215) posted at 7:40 AM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013

I cannot believe the children have to go. Why? I don't know what else to say but I will definitely have all of you in my prayers.

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6406664
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 Griefstricken25 (original poster member #29183) posted at 3:54 PM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013

I have to let them go because he's never actually DONE anything to the children. The kids are super excited to go, too, which makes me ill.

I truly appreciate all the prayers.

Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

posts: 2596   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2010   ·   location: A better place
id 6406820
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peridot ( member #18334) posted at 4:24 PM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013

I hate that the courts wait until something happens to the kids.

The GAL told me there wasn't anything they could do until he or the OW did something to my kids. I told her it wasn't a matter of if he or the OW do something to my kids but when. Turns out I was right.

My XH has some sexual issues. I was always worried he would do something to the kids. I was also worried about the OW abusing them because she has a history of physical abuse. In the end it was the OW who abused my kids.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6406839
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dreamlife ( member #8142) posted at 4:30 PM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013

Sending strength, prayers, and good thoughts!

((((huge hugs)))

~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

"He called me a bitch.
I called him an ambulance."
Linda H.)

posts: 26209   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2005
id 6406844
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 5:23 PM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013

You and your kids are in my prayers.

Sending hugs also,

K

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6406876
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hangingontohope7 ( member #20024) posted at 10:47 PM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013

I will be praying you and your children.

(((((((Griefstricken25)))))))

Me: BW
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing

Burn everything love then burn the ashes.

posts: 247   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2008
id 6407069
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 10:51 PM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013

((((PRAYERS AND GOOD THOUGHTS))))

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6407072
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 5:12 AM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

Prayers. Wishes and hopes and positive thoughts and everything else I can think of.

I will think about you and them until they are safely back at home and the sigh of relief is breathed.

((((((GS)))))) and propping you up

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6407337
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 5:25 PM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

((((((Griefstricken)))))

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6407641
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Mousse242 ( member #6330) posted at 7:46 PM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

You need to get your kids in counseling and make sure they are clear as to what abuse is and to report it immediately to you and the counselor. Make sure the counselor explains to them grooming behavior, etc. so they know what to be on alert for. Also, so that the older kids can can watch out for the youngest one.

IS there any way the cops can search his computer for kiddie porn?

posts: 5485   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2005   ·   location: Chicago
id 6407713
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Fooled Me Twice ( member #34824) posted at 8:22 PM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

Prayers to you and your littles. I will be thinking of them.

ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

posts: 209   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Here and There
id 6407739
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 8:50 PM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

praying

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 6407757
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