SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

No, I don't think there was any kind of set up intended. Like I said, I don't even think we knew what spam meant back then. I used to get similar e-mail invitations to those sites. I went on for several years as I recall. AOL used to have a "report this" button, and I would do so. After a while, I stopped getting them. I don't know if reporting them stopped it, if AOL got better at filtering them, or if the sites got shut down. But I think she got similar messages, and came to a conclusion that was convenient to her adultery.

Maybe you were getting Spam from places like that because she set it up..was she cheating back then?

My WH is a porn addict. Over the last 10 years(until 3 years ago on dday1),we got a lot of porn spam..A LOT...from many,many different sites...never..not one time..have we ever received anything child related. Never.

It may have been "innocent" spam...but this smells funny.

[This message edited by confused615 at 10:49 AM, July 22nd (Monday)]

No, I really don't think that it was related to anything other than her intense desire to think the very worst of me. Other people I knew were complaining of the same thing back then. Much of it would be in a mass email consisting of similar screen names to mine on aol. As though they were sending it to all of the aol accounts from ca to ch or something

Oh, and yes she was cheating back then. She was 4 years in when she accused me

Confused, when you say "we" got that spam, did you have a joint e-mail account with wh? Ours were separate.

We had a joint email account..and we receieved a ton of Spam..and have over the years...until dday1 and WH agreed to no porn. Since then,we haven't recieved ANY porn spam..none.

During the time we were getting the spam,it always seemed to be tailored to fit whatever porn he had been looking at lately...for example,if he had been watching Granny porn(he wasn't,this is just an example), then our email would be hit with senior porn and senior dating sites(nasty ones).

That's why I am curious about the child porn invites. My WH was,at one time,viewing HOURS of porn every day..he was new to the internet and like a kid in a cnady store..he viewed a very wide variety..and never..never..have I ever seen anything involving child porn. That's pretty specific..and very odd..factor in that she was cheating at the time...and the threat made by lpc about you having more to lose than him..and I have to say,Im worried about you,qtr. Very worried.

ETA: Since dday1,I have taken over the email account WH used to cheat on me with...and I have my own private email account(WH knows about it..it's where I keep all my evidence..he doesn't have the password)..his account gets a lot of porn spam..my account gets nothing..absolutely no porn at all.

[This message edited by confused615 at 12:18 PM, July 22nd (Monday)]

Confused:

I appreciate the concern, but please don't worry. Like I said, it was a long time ago, and I think that certain providers were more susceptible than others. Ours was a separate account, phone line hookup where you logged into the internet through AOL, so no reason we both would have been receiving that sort of thing even if I had been guilty. The other thing is this: people who do that don't just stop. If I had done it then, I would still be doing it, and there would be proof. I'll be cautious in my decisions regarding the two of them, but please don't worry about me.

Raven

Ok..but I'll still worry,lol.

We had the same thing years ago..phone like hookup..internet through AOL.

It may be nothing..but this has stuck in your mind..after all of these years.

Any allegation will ruin your reputation..unfortunately that's how things like these work...once you're accused,people tend to believe it. I hope nothing like this happens...you've done nothing wrong here.

Im so sorry you're dealing with this.

quoththeraven1~

Confused, when you say "we" got that spam, did you have a joint e-mail account with wh? Ours were separate.

I was always so confused when I would be looking at my spam folder (all mail automatically goes there, I have to retrieve any 'real' emails and assign them to the regular inbox) All these porno websites and dating websites would be popping up...WTH?!?

When I finally figured out what was happening it was still baffling! I have one email and he has another. I sure was not looking at porno!

I asked the computer geeks...the said that when two or more computers use the same internet portal, like your high speed internet from your phone co. thing like dating and porn offers will come up on all of the computers as spam.

This is the surefire way of knowing that something is up in your house.

We have finally eradicated porno from the email and spam...then some gay websites started showing up in my spam folder...WTH!!!

My gay brother was visiting and was trolling around on his email but through my main computer. So I started getting offers from 'MEN on MEN' websites. I had to tell him to knock it off while he was here because ALL Porno is off limits here in my home.

So if your WW is trying to snag you with something that she has trumped up, just have both computers 'data mined'.

It is about $150 to $200 per computer but it is worth the peace of mind.

Just google computer forensics for your type of computers and a shop will come up. These guys will not take your cash if they cannot help you. So be specific in your request (about what you want to get back, not what it is about)

All history, files, pictures, emails; on the computer and all erased info will be there.

All computer activity has a time stamp. Everything. Seeing that she was the one who was first in looking at these types of websights ought to put a stopper in this mess!

Good Luck!

I guess we could do that. However, keep in mind that this accusation was in 2002, a windows 95 for crying out loud, that has been years in the landfill!!! I'm thinking that the last time I saw anything like that was 9 years and two computers ago

Yes...9 years ago...but significant enough that you've thought of it again..after all this time.

It could be nothing. But,then,she's capable of keeping secrets and causing great destruction..no?

And WS's tend to rewrite history..and WW tend to make their BH into a villain..abusive..etc..to justify their affair..and cause the OM to play KISA.

Maybe Im just being paranoid?

And WS's tend to rewrite history..and WW tend to make their BH into a villain..abusive..etc..to justify their affair..and cause the OM to play KISA.

OH BOY DO THEY!

Maybe Im just being paranoid?

Well, maybe not paranoid, but you're going to have to trust me on this one. It isn't a set up. A history re-write, a painting of me as a villain, by all means.