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His BF Is A Cheater!!

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 petite71 (original poster member #36475) posted at 8:51 PM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

I have a question...Would you all be mad if your H stayed friends with a womanizer & a person who found a prostitute on craigslist??? He's married by the way. His W found out because she was working with the cops & he got busted. This was before my H had the A.

My H says he has been his friend since High School & he only talks to him on the phone. He told my H recently that I been keeping him on a short leash for over a year now. When my H told me that I said well he is not a friend of the marriage,so he needs to be out of our lives. My H says

that he doesn't see why he should have to,because AGAIN they only talk on the phone once in awhile. Wouldn't you all be pissed off?

1st DD 03/24/2012 2nd DD 07/13/2012 TT A. in 2002 same girl when we were dating.
Status:Getting Stronger...we can get through this & are healing together
BS(me):41
WS(Husband):40
LTA 10 yrs EA/PA 9 times. friends with benefits.
Us..Together 12 yr

posts: 126   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6413967
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cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 8:58 PM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

I would be and am at times. My H was still in contact with several college friends. Some were active cheaters. ANd they did try to talk him into hanging out. It never went over well for our marriage. He went twice. Now I shudder to think what they did. It has been years, but those cheaters have failed marriages.

a trigger yesterday

posts: 4775   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2010   ·   location: athome
id 6413978
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 petite71 (original poster member #36475) posted at 8:59 PM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

Make it clear as she... I mean the prostitute was working for the cops.

1st DD 03/24/2012 2nd DD 07/13/2012 TT A. in 2002 same girl when we were dating.
Status:Getting Stronger...we can get through this & are healing together
BS(me):41
WS(Husband):40
LTA 10 yrs EA/PA 9 times. friends with benefits.
Us..Together 12 yr

posts: 126   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6413981
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 petite71 (original poster member #36475) posted at 9:01 PM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

I guess my H's BFF is more important than his W & M

That's how I feel.

1st DD 03/24/2012 2nd DD 07/13/2012 TT A. in 2002 same girl when we were dating.
Status:Getting Stronger...we can get through this & are healing together
BS(me):41
WS(Husband):40
LTA 10 yrs EA/PA 9 times. friends with benefits.
Us..Together 12 yr

posts: 126   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6413985
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 10:52 PM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

only talk on the phone once in awhile

Oh, then it's OK! I guess that it's OK to keep in touch with the local drug dealer, as long as its only once in a while. To go out and bang someone as long as its only once in a while. To drive drunk as long as its only once in a while. I mean, heck, it's not like it's every day after all!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6414119
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 petite71 (original poster member #36475) posted at 12:56 AM on Saturday, July 20th, 2013

Skan:I know...RIGHT!!! He looked at me like I was so ridiculous.

1st DD 03/24/2012 2nd DD 07/13/2012 TT A. in 2002 same girl when we were dating.
Status:Getting Stronger...we can get through this & are healing together
BS(me):41
WS(Husband):40
LTA 10 yrs EA/PA 9 times. friends with benefits.
Us..Together 12 yr

posts: 126   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6414242
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staying hopefull ( member #5748) posted at 1:04 AM on Saturday, July 20th, 2013

you know the saying...birds of a feather, flock together..

Me - BS (40) FWH (43)
Two children
Together 20 years, married 15 years
Reconcilied for 9 years!

posts: 1031   ·   registered: Nov. 4th, 2004
id 6414249
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 petite71 (original poster member #36475) posted at 1:58 PM on Saturday, July 20th, 2013

LOL!!! I tell him that when we talk about his friendship. He is speechless after I tell him that truthful phrase.

1st DD 03/24/2012 2nd DD 07/13/2012 TT A. in 2002 same girl when we were dating.
Status:Getting Stronger...we can get through this & are healing together
BS(me):41
WS(Husband):40
LTA 10 yrs EA/PA 9 times. friends with benefits.
Us..Together 12 yr

posts: 126   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6414654
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womaninflux ( member #39667) posted at 12:50 AM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013

I definitely have misgivings of my H remaining friends with friends of his who cheat on their wives. I also don't like the friends who knew about the A. But in the end, you can't control ANYTHING. A therapist would say it's not healthy to the R process to be around people who are unsupportive of your relationship. But again, you can't control anything.

BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

posts: 932   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2013
id 6415099
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 petite71 (original poster member #36475) posted at 1:28 AM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013

I hear ya womaninflux. My H needs to find a new BFF. I been worried about fixing him & not myself. He had the E/P LTA & needs to also stop rug sweeping.

Time to worry about me.

1st DD 03/24/2012 2nd DD 07/13/2012 TT A. in 2002 same girl when we were dating.
Status:Getting Stronger...we can get through this & are healing together
BS(me):41
WS(Husband):40
LTA 10 yrs EA/PA 9 times. friends with benefits.
Us..Together 12 yr

posts: 126   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6415110
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