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rachelc (original poster member #30314) posted at 9:15 PM on Saturday, July 20th, 2013
MC said I appeared very resigned when I described that this is now my life - far from the way I want it to look and that I'm still struggling with acceptance.
On the way home (90 miles) fWH/BS said it appeared that I still haven't made up my mind. I said I want to stay with you and I'm trying but that's all I can give right now.
I said I get so confused: am I putting up with too much, am I not forgiving enough?
Am I struggling with having too much ego and pride OR am I sacrificing my dignity to stay. I said I have no idea. I do know that I can't handle any more trauma. - this was good intimate conversation for us.
MC said if you move it would be for one reason and you have 20 good reasons to stay. Ok, at what point do you say uncle. I give up.
Many of you know I struggle with seeing the OW ( and there are two here). But what is that really? I'm reasonably sure they don't pose a threat. Why can't i accept this hook, line and sinker? yep, he really did it. I will ocasionally see them. I want to scream and pull my hair out at the unfairness of this. this is NOT the life I want for myself.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 4:34 PM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013
(((rachel)))
It's not easy as 1-2-3 to move forward. There isn't any guarantee of what the future holds. That means you have to trust him and that can be scary. Take it one day at a time...watching his actions, hearing his words, and slowly building trust. When you are ready you will know what you want to do. Sending you strength.
petite71 ( member #36475) posted at 5:16 PM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013
I feel the sameway as you...((HUGS))
1st DD 03/24/2012 2nd DD 07/13/2012 TT A. in 2002 same girl when we were dating.
Status:Getting Stronger...we can get through this & are healing together
BS(me):41
WS(Husband):40
LTA 10 yrs EA/PA 9 times. friends with benefits.
Us..Together 12 yr
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