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catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 2:15 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
I know this is still a rollercoaster, but at almost 10 months I can say that I am feeling no pain right now.
I went away on vacation to my folk's house, unexpectedly without my H, and had a chance to get back on my feet emotionally. H was great while I was gone. He has been great since I got back. I told him this weekend that I'm starting to feel that he has truly changed for good. He was very happy to hear that and agrees completely.
I have not triggered or mentioned the A since I returned. Hours go by without my thinking of it. If I do I can quickly change the channel in my mind.
We had another lovely weekend this weekend; we are so happy together right now.
I understand that it is not over, but wanted to report that it is possible, at least for some, for the pain to take a break!
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 2:17 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"
bionicgal ( member #39803) posted at 2:21 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
It is nice to read positive posts like this. I am only 5 weeks out today, and occasionally the clouds will part for a moment or two. Occasionally I'll actually feel happiness, and then I wonder if I am in denial, haha.
Ironically, some things in my marriage are going better than they have in a long time with all of this focused attention. But, as Dickens said: "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, . . . "
me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.
Knowing ( member #37044) posted at 3:56 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
I'm with you. 10 months out and starting to feel like myself again (I honestly never thought I would). The pangs and twinges are fewer and farther between. The A and our recovery from it isn't the only thing I think about anymore.
Once I stopped spending my entire day in bed around the 7 month mark, I knew I was getting better but I never expected to feel this "normal" just a few months later.
BW, R last 4 years of marriage out of 15... FINALLY, HAPPILY DIVORCING!
We are in R.
TXBW68 ( member #36456) posted at 5:40 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
I'm with you! It's been 5 months since he's been back home. I'm finally able to go for a day or 2 without thinking "You are the SOB that cheated on me and destroyed our family."
I look at him now and see the man that I fell in love with 21 years ago. My best friend. My sons' Daddy. Not that evil shell of a person he was for so long.
It's hard to hear when you first find out, but Time is really the biggest requirement to get thru the pain.
Hope you have many more happy days!
Me (46) WH (42),2 boys 15 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 7:27 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
10 months out here...and feel very much the same as you!!! Great news!
It does us good to stop and recognize these positive feelings when they happen.
Thanks for posting...I know each situation is different, but I do draw comfort from others with similar DD feeling similarly as I do. I commend bionicgirl that at 5 weeks out she has some peace too! Wasnt my time schedule but glad she is getting glimpses of this feeling too.
God be with us all.
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 7:39 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
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