SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this but none of the others seemed appropriate. If there is a better forum please move it to there.

A couple of days ago I got a call from a friend of mine and former partner on the MICU, back before I got promoted to a station Captain. She has been having marrital issues for a while and tells me she is going to be geting a D soon and would like my advise on what to expect in general, as well as work related questions. My D was final March 6th and was about as fast and smooth as you could hope so I figured it made since she would come to me. We talked a bit and I felt like I gave her some good advise. The next shift she was working OT at my station and we talked for about an hour more. About an hour later a second firefighter calls me up asking the same questions. I thought it was odd but the D rate is high in my job so I said sure come by and we will talk. He came by and we talked, but before we talked he was in the station for about 30 minutes and I couldn't find him anywhere. I walked the station twice after seeing his vehicle in the parking lot but having no reason to hunt him down I just waiting in my office till he showed up there.

Yesterday I get a phone call from his previous Captain to inform me that the male firefighter has been having multiple disciplinary issues but that I should start watching the dorm rooms in my station because they believe he and my former partner are having an A... Fantastic... Putting my very personal and very recent BS experiance aside I tried to focus on what I have to do as a supervisor. They are already looking for a reason to can this guy and they are wanting to use my old partner as bait, while having me be the rat. F-that. Not only is that the improper way to handle the situation they are basically trying to dump the firing of two employees in my lap so they can come out smelling like roses.

I called my old partner. I told her that what she does in her personal life and while not at work is her own business. But that I had been informed there was illicit activities going on in the dorm rooms between her and the male FF and that if this was true and she got caught she would be looking at a termination of employment. She denied that anything was going on and I told her it wasn't my business or concern, unless it was happening at work. She knows the landscape now and if she thought it was just their little secrete she was very far from the truth as this had spread to 3 differant stations at a minimum. Also if it WAS false, then she could squash any rumors by just keeping distance and not adding any fuel to the fire.

Now today.... While doing trainging this morning the original Captain informed me the male FF had been now admitting the A in public in his station and was planning on requesting a transfer to my station (although not directly under me). So obviously this is not going away, and is starting to snowball. I called his captain and confirmed but the account of the A and his desire to move here. At this point I'm stuck in the middle of a mess that is not only "not-my-problem" but is becoming a collosal meltdown of supervisors not handling their own crap. I then informed my supervisor of the evolving situation and that I felt this needed to be dealt with in a proper, official capacity before it got out of hand people lost their jobs. I wrote a memo of all the information that had been given to me and that I was recommending a counceling session with each of the FF's to inform them of the situation and review the company policy.

The frustrating thing about all this is it shouldn't even be my mess. But as no one else seems to want to do their jobs I am having to handle it. Also, if they are having an A it would take a pretty sick person to come to me before advice on how to D there BS...

Sorry you have to deal with this.

Man, dlmos. What a terrible mess.

For what it's worth, I think you are doing the absolute best you can in impossible circumstances.

Doing a good job the best you can... That's the best you can do...

Come what may for those two my man...

WB

I know it's not fair to have This dumped on you. Unfortunately crappy spineless supervisors do it all the time. Document, document, document. And document your conversation with this other capiton while it is still fresh in your mind.

Thanks everyone, it's been a pretty stressful day. It's amazing how once people start talking they are more than happy to air every bit of dirt they "know" about people...I have been getting unsolicited dirt all evening, and so far none of it is either useful because no one is willing to sign a memo with their name on it or it has nothing to do with work. What you do at home is your business, I don't need or want to know anything about that...

I will say that if even a fraction of these rumors are true then both of these people have exhibited a level of ignorance that is beyond me. The male, I would have expected this sort of thing. The female on the other hand is normally being known for being very smart and level headed. I'm pretty sure both their reputations are trashed now though, no one comes out clean with this kinda mess.