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Newest Member: HeartbrokenQueen

Just Found Out :
bad day all over again

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 Jammy19 (original poster new member #39955) posted at 11:04 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

The 21 year old brat who my husband was emotionally involved with messaged me today. She asked for pictures of her son that died that I have on my computer. She used to live with us and was at one time like a daughter to me. I kicked her out 15 months ago for lewd behavior and drug usage. Then I find out her and my husband were invovled in their innocent version of friendship for 9 months..Im trying to deal with that and today she messages me saying i know you hate me, but could you find it in your heart to send me pictures of my son. I was with her when her baby was stillborn. Thats the reason we took her in to help her deal with her grief...and she was part of the family until she laid her head in my husbands lap last year and was on drugs and stole money from me. How dare he be invovled with her for 9 months as a friend..she costed me my sanity last year.. I had a nervous breakdown thanks to her whining and nagging and crazy behavior. How could he ignore my pain & anguish and talk to her. I am sick..and I want to tell her to shove off! and to think he talked ot her when she was in pain and blew me off becasue I nagged him. im his wife! I can and should be able to call him..and now a reminder today of all days...she messaging me. ughh

[This message edited by Jammy19 at 5:06 PM, July 26th (Friday)]

never underestimate the power of you. For life is a journey and we are in control of every path we choose.

posts: 11   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2013
id 6423149
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 2:41 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

Gather up anything that is hers, copy to a thumb drive, drop off at a relatives or friends house, then send one message that says "your shit is at x-place. Never contact me or my family again or I will pursue a RO against you," and block her. If you want to be nice. If not, crickets and delete her crap. You owe her nothing, not one damned thing. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6423413
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canteat ( member #39636) posted at 4:12 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

I agree that you don't owe her a damn thing. My first inclination is to tell her to go F*ck herself and delete all her stuff. But thats just the BS in me! In any event, you don't have to decide now what you want to do. You can keep the pics and send her crickets until you decide. Who knows how you will feel in a few months or year from now. She can wait, she can wonder, she can choke on it(sorry,BS venom again). I would block her so you won't get any more texts or emails from her. Don't let her distract you from working on making YOU happy. There should be NC between her and both you and WH. Too bad that she wants to tie up some loose ends. This is not about her. It is about YOU. Don't dwell on this or expend any energy on her at all. She's not worth it.

*hugs*

Me: BW 42
Him: WH 47
Married 9 years-together 18
Dday: 6/17/2013 EA/PA(EA 1yr/PA 6mos-OW out of state)
status: Starting R 7/22/13

posts: 151   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2013
id 6423492
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Stillstings ( member #36549) posted at 3:33 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

I say delete everything and not say a thing to her. I'm not terribly sympathetic towards entitled adults who think they can treat people however they want.

If she cries about it I wouldn't feel bad. She did this not you.

Love yourself. You're worth it. Face your self. You need to do it.

posts: 383   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2012
id 6423796
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