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RSEB (original poster member #34728) posted at 9:48 PM on Sunday, July 28th, 2013
I read a post in the Wayward forum last week that I could have very easily written myself. I SO related to what the FWW was writing...about how she didn't know how to change the road her and her BH were on after 2.5 years. We are at 3.5 years out. I can't get my BH to heal...HE has to take a first step at some point to work on that and hopefully eventually our M.
So there was a distance between us again yesterday, so this morning I asked him if anything had happened and if there was anything I could do. He of course said no.
THIS IS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO READ THAT THREAD IN WAYWARD. He was TRULY listening as he was reading!!!...I Saw a light go on for him. I don't know how long it will last...but it did happen and it is a HUGE step. We both cried for a while and then we went up to our room to lay together...it was then that he said I LOVE YOU...I started sobbing uncontrollably...and then so did he again...He hasn't said I love you in over a year, and when he would say it before that it was in response to me...or because he felt obligated to say it. He then explained that he had been afraid to say it because he couldn't believe someone he loved SO much could hurt him like this...so he couldn't bring himself to say those words anymore. We were both crying SO hard. I told him I was sorry and I would never betray his heart, him or myself ever again.
All I can say is that today is an AWESOME day...and I hope the start of a new chapter. Thank you SI, for being here for me. It is amazing how all the wonderful members here share their heartbreak SO freely and how much all the words and advice helps.
[This message edited by RSEB at 3:53 PM, July 28th (Sunday)]
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 10:06 PM on Sunday, July 28th, 2013
This is beautiful. I am happy for you both. Thanks for sharing this moment. 
JustWow ( member #19636) posted at 11:44 PM on Sunday, July 28th, 2013
Beautiful 
BW - Reconciling
edited for typos (I always have to!)
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 12:27 AM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
What a heartfelt, wonderful moment. I'm so happy for you both.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 7:33 PM, July 28th (Sunday)]
jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 1:03 AM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 1:51 AM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
I'm so very happy for the two of you! May this be a big forward step followed by lots and lots more!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 1:52 AM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
I'm so very happy for the two of you! May this be a big forward step followed by lots and lots more!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 1:55 AM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
sri624 ( member #33956) posted at 6:20 AM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
this is very encouraging..thank you for posting in this area. i can relate to your bh.....i sometimes wish i could tell my h that i love him...and really mean it. i havent said it in a longtime...and really meant it....not after being betrayed for so long.
but it is possible....your bh is proof. and i needed to read that for....hope.
right now though....i cant say it. being intimate, and affectionate....or have sweet talk with him helps for a little while...but then i eventually want to spit up.
[This message edited by sri624 at 12:21 AM, July 29th (Monday)]
BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
R:Last chance
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