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For the last few days I've been thinking that taking my kids back to my home town in Ireland where I grew up would be an option. Obviously this is just a seed that is growing but part of me feels that a complete fresh start would be good for us. I know it would be amazing for my children as they would have a gorgeous beach on their doorstep and so much freedom that they are not going to have living here in a city in the UK.

I'm sure ex would not at all be happy about this though.

Another thing is my first love lives over there. I know he is a single dad with two children. When we split up when I was 19 I always wanted to have one last night with him and always wondered what if? I haven't seen him in 10 years and when I did last see him he was keen to see if things could work out between us. I forgot about these emotions when I met ex-shit as I thought we would be together for life, as a family bringing up our children.

I know that getting a job would be difficult as there isn't much to offer there.

This is crazy talk I know, but part of me is wondering maybe.

I am going to take my children there next summer anyway and see how it goes when we are there. I know my family and friends there would be over the moon if we moved there.

Small steps I guess.

Also, plwase can anyone advise me about the legal side of moving my children to another country regarding my children's father?

I don't think moving closer to family is so crazy. I recommend that you talk to a lawyer before you get too carried away with the intention though. It may not be possible/easy and it will sting more to find out with everyone on board and a job picked out.

I had a really teary night last night thinking about this. I know it would be tough on my children not seeing their father as much but surely we deserve a fresh start?

I've lived in this city since 1999 and have a lot of roots here. The thing is that I became a mother living here and it's just too painful being here now especially as ex never accepted me as a mother.

I'm not going to make any rash decisions anyway and will seek legal advice if I do decide to move back.

Hi Dindy,

A similar thing happened to me - my ex moved us as a "family" to Australia, before he unceremoniously ran off with a tart from the office. I looked into moving the children and myself back to the UK, and was told you need to get the fathers permission as part of the Hague convention. Otherwise you can get yourself into serious trouble, and lose your children.

Ireland is not that far to move, so your ex shouldn't have a problem with it. However, without his signature, even if it improves your life, i.e. being near family, it doesn't matter.

In the end I stayed in Australia, as I started to create a great life for myself there, however my ex did in the end return to the UK, and the children and I followed. I thought I'd get lots of help from my family, as they promised, but nothing happened - I was on my own, and had to start again.

As for moving to be near your first love - maybe you should get in contact, and test the water first??

dignityintact I wouldn't go back to try and rekindle anything with my ex until I was on my feet and mine and my children's lives were on an even footing. Though it is weird as I keep dreaming about him. It is always a nice thought for now anyway!

I've spoken to a few friends here about moving and I do think I need to give it some time. I moved here alone in 1999 to study and I have some amazing friends here. But now that I have spilt up with ex and am no longer a part of his family I really miss my own now.

It's funny as I always said I would never want to return to my hometown. But then again, I never thought I would be cheated on and become a single mother.

Time will help me decide.