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Lost a ton of weight after Dday, started working out regularly and stopped wearing sweats all the time. At first it was just to make WH jealous but I love the feeling of having a strong body. Now it's all for me!

Well....lost a bunch of weght...grew my blonde hair long, got a face lift...neck tightened...eyes done and a boob job. Also got a tat. I shopped a lot for about a year.It made me feel good to find that everything I would try on looked good on me. My self esteem took a real big plunge when I found out about my H and the cumguzzler. Now when we go places people think I am his daughter. My husband was the one to offer me the money for the remake. He was trying to do anything he could do to make me feel better. It did make me feel better ABOUT MYSELF!!! But we still had to go through all the recovery of the affair. Still recovering. Things are good...I know he loves me. Time does help...and therapy!

I got a tattoo between my shoulders on my back that says:

I Am Enough

I got my nose pierced and the upper cartilage on one ear.

I have lost some weight, and am going to yoga a lot more. I feel stronger for sure. I joked that I was going to go blonde, but wouldn't really.

I have been buying clothes and making an effort to feel like I look nice/sexy. . .mostly for me, but a little for him. : )

This is too funny. So, I decided to take up smoking. And, guess what, I threw up! LOL. Tell me that's not funny! I'm not a smoking kind a gal and I don't care if others smoke, but this was something funny I wanted to share.

I also want a tat. Something small and inconspicuous so I know it marks my pain.

I got extensions in my hair and love them. I acutally chopped my hair off when I found out and it was way too short, like to my cheeks short.

I used to wear Doc Martin boots or flats with black tights and a dress to work. Now, I find I'm strutting skinny pants and wedges with cardigans. I actually feel good and people tell me I look nice. It's like Bettlejuice here got a makeover.

I find it interesting that we shed so many layers in life, constantly changing, evolving, learning, and growing.

I've also been running and lifting weights. I feel good and it helps get the anger out.

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 1:32 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]

Lost weight like so many others, got a nose ring, navel piercing, spent more time styling my hair...

The most noticeable thing was that I stopped wearing my rose-coloured glasses. Ahem.

Lost 40lbs, in addition to my daily yoga-became a runner, started lifting weights- went from size 14 to a size 0! Grew my hair out super long (below my butt!), grew my nails long (used to always bite them!) started wearing make-up and went nuts on purchasing high end face creams.

The most noticeable thing was that I stopped wearing my rose-coloured glasses. Ahem.

you go girl! Me too!

I decided I would have anything I wanted for the rest of my life, and he had damn well not say one fucking word.

I'll never forget when he said he wanted to get me a big ass diamond I was like, 'uhhh, no thanks buddy, I won't be wearing a ring again...but I will take the money to spend on myself'!

Yeah, those rose colored glasses had to go!! That totally made me bust up, too!

Kinda. My spouse and I had a convo before the holiday season. I asked a question and he answered, "We'll talk about it after the holidays." Like that was supposed to ease my mind in any way, shape, or form? That was supposed to put me in a happy or merry mood?

I truly did NOT suspect an A. But I could tell he was unhappy in our marriage. He wouldn't discuss making changes before the new year, but that didn't stop me.

In my mind, the biggest problem we had--because of my reaction to his SA--was my feeling unattractive. I never turned him down, but I didn't want the lights on and I never wanted him to see me undressed.

So I decided that that needed to change. I couldn't change him, but I could become more comfortable with myself. So I started working out and eating less--determined to lose the 5 lbs/yr since 40 that I'd gained.

A week later, I found out he'd been with a prostitute the day before. Because I was too heartsick to eat, I lost 15 pounds very quickly. It wasn't intentional, but it was helpful as a jumpstart.

By the time the DDay came and he confessed his A (and the prostitute and the escorts), I'd lost 35 pounds (and have now lost a total of 50). I have a completely new wardrobe (from my own closet--we have no money for new clothes) and lots more self-esteem. Even if this whole R thing doesn't work out, I feel better and I feel better about myself.

Although I've always wanted to be more endowed, I think I couldn't live with myself if I got that operation now. It'd seem too aimed at him (although he professes--and always has--to like them smaller). I've tried to make changes that might help our marriage but that would DEFINITELY help me. So far, I'm happy with the progress. :)

I hadn't cut my hair short for 20 some years. After dday I took my BJJ gi down to the Jersey shore on a gray, drizzling day with a whetstone and a sword we bought together from a Renfest in the 90s, sat on the beach and sharpened it, then used it to cut my hair off samurai style, throwing it into the sea to carry away my shame.

Nah, I'm full of shit. I had some hair place cut it off and send it to locks of love. That sword won't hold an edge anyway. I didn't even do it cuz of her A really, was just sick of long hair.

I have considered buying a crossbow and taking up hunting though. Being out in the woods overnight with the purpose of killing things to eat sounds cathartic.

I cut 20 inches of hair off and sent it to Locks of Love, started wearing make up again and lost 20lbs I couldn't afford to lose.

Yeah I have cut marks on my wrists now

No really I did not change my appearance. I have always prided myself on my appearance.

My appearance post Dday was pretty scary though, but I'm back on track now

I do want to get some kind of face work done, like a peel or something like that.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 4:31 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]

Well, in addition to the 20 lb weight loss that seems to be the norm for so many of us, i had my eyes lasered.

That was the benefit of being separated and getting a really nice tax return

My smile turned into a perpetual gloomy half-frown for awhile. Other than that, I accelerated my running and with that and the infidelity diet lost about 15 pounds. Went from XL shirts to L, and dropped a pant size. At a recent family reunion someone told me I looked 10 years younger.

So I guess there is a silver lining.

I went to a salon the day after Dday. New cut, new color. Since I have changed my hair color MANY times as well as went super short. My stylist says I am finding my "warrior hair". I started wearing make-up and actually caring about how I look. I had fallen into this depression type rut with my looks before dday. I now have only VS underwear and am finding all the pieces of me that i lost along the way. When I sit back and look at just how much of "me" left during Wh's A, it's depressing to say the least.

Got super skinny. Have kept it off, so now have a wardrobe of leather pants, shorts, skirts, etc. My co-workers call me Leather Tuscadero.

I work in a creative field, so I can wear anything to work. I now dress like I'm going to a nightclub every day. XH woulda hated it!

Well let's see. I lost 40 lbs, I got a tan from the sun which is no easy task living in the Arctic, cut 8 inches off my hair to a super cute bob, dyed my blond hair to a deep dark black cherry color, got 3 tattoos (I had none before) & an upper cartledge piercing (that hurt) & started drinking socially again. Now I'm deciding what my next 2 tattoos are going to be. Yup that about covers it.

Trying to focus more on me - small but important changes, haircut, nails, clothes. I travel more and I work more and I save more. You never know.

i keep debating getting my hair cut short, but im scared that ill hate It and then ill be even more angry abut the whole thing. and ive always loved having my hair long,,, but I do feel the need to put some of what im feeling on the inside on the outside in some way. but not a way ill regret.