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OptimisticWife ( member #36587) posted at 6:55 AM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2013
Sending you my best wishes. I'm sorry to read about the position you're in. I hope you find the strength to make the decision that is right for you and your family. ((((Libertyrocks))))
AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 4:02 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2013
Checking in to see how you are doing.
BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"
Schilling ( member #39774) posted at 6:07 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2013
I told him drinking is unaaceptable and if he wanted to drink he needs to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe something truly drastic, a true consequence.
You can your children leave for a few days, express to him (letter form, written) that you are leaving because he broken his promise, his sobriety and how this is affecting you and your family and your relationship.
Is he in AA? Has a sponsor?
I am 26(Bgf). He is 36 (Wbf).
On Again, Off Again - 10 years.
Not Married. No Kids.
D-Day: Too many to list/ remember.
Trying to Reconcile.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:48 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2013
I'm so sorry you're in this spot.
(((libertyrocks))
You might read up on 'Drama Triangle'. IIRC, Karpman came up with his model after observing a lot of alcoholism, and then he realized it had a wider application. In any case, reading might help you stay firm with your consequences.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Knowing ( member #37044) posted at 2:38 AM on Saturday, August 10th, 2013
I can understand that drinking would be a deal-breaker for you, living with an active alcoholic is hell
I see drinking and cheating as separate, both equally lousy coping skills or acting out, if you wish.
My fWH is a "recovered" alcoholic with over 12 years sober when he had his A. Sobriety does not guarantee fidelity.
If it was "just a slip" and he's willing to "get back on the wagon" and he does have a sponsor and is doing (or will do step work), then his slip may not be that much of threat to your R.
I hope you're well. Have you done any reading on co-dependence? This might be a good time to implement the 180 (if he's around) or use it as a guide on how to take care of yourself right now.
BW, R last 4 years of marriage out of 15... FINALLY, HAPPILY DIVORCING!
We are in R.
beenthere2? ( member #28554) posted at 4:58 AM on Saturday, August 10th, 2013
WH had an issue with drinking and it caused a lot of problems between us. It took a medical issue and us ridding the house of alcohol before he removed his head from his ass.
We were "lucky" in the medical issue, I don't think he would have stopped without it.
Me: BW 34 Him: WH 36
Married 10
Dday #1 5/15/10 claimed EA/just friends
#2 9/20/10 (admitted to kiss w/ same OW
#3 11/29/10 admitted to a lot more
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