SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

t/j from another thread...

ShedSomeLIght mentioned that she had designed a tattoo - I'm guessing to symbolize this whole infidelity experience and / or her coming through on the other side.

I am wondering if this is a common thing?

Anyone have great ideas / suggestions for a commemerative tattoo regarding this mind blowing experience?

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[This message edited by SI Staff at 7:31 AM, August 8th (Thursday)]

I had a tattoo a few weeks after dday#2. In my family tattoos are a complete no no. I think my dad cried when he saw it. He never said a word though, he knew why I did it.

Mine is on my middle back. It shows the front of a powerful white stallion. Coming up out of storming waves. To me the stallion represents both purity (honesty) and my inner power. It's a reminder that I have the power to rise from an storm I encounter in life.

I haven't done it yet but I have debated doing a 3/4 sleeve for a few years and would incorporate a tiger now. The tiger is that side of me that protects my core. Fierce and loyal, it made me learn what boundaries are and enforce them over the last 10 months.

I can't imagine doing that.

Do you really want a reminder for the rest of your life? I am not going to let my wife's stupidity define me.

I've told my WH that if he's serious about R then he needs to get a tattoo! We aren't tattoo people, but he's agreed. I don't know if I would really make him do it, but it makes me laugh picturing a portrait of me tattooed on his chest or a WWJD ( what would Jesus do?) on his groin!

If you have any suggestions for the WS let me know!

[This message edited by ILINIA at 7:47 AM, August 8th (Thursday)]

My WS idea is for a ring engraving that is the mattress tag line... Void if removed.

My WH and I have batted back and forth the idea of getting a tattoo. I'd get a lighthouse and he would get a ship that is emerging from a storm and is battered but still afloat.

I did get a tiny tattoo after DD and it is my only. It was a symbol for me to empower me.

I just read this and just wanted offer an explanation. I have ALWAYS wanted a tattoo. I guess the tattoo I am getting will symbolize me moving forward and knowing I can do and survive anything. He said to...I will get one with you and my response was.."please don't". This is something for me to get past what you did to me. My favorite band is "Shinedown", so my tattoo will be there emblem and then with writing on the top and bottom in a semi-circle with my two favorite songs, "Shed Some Light" and "Burning Bright". This band bring me so much comfort always. Getting a tattoo is my way of knowing I will NEVER be the same person again.

My fWH had my name tattooed on his arm. This was a birthday present to me several years ago. It drive OW crazy to see it and he told her that he had plans to make it into an arm band when he left me. He has since told me that was a lie and he never had any intention if removing my name or leaving me. After DDay he got another one in his back of a double infinity. This symbolizes us intertwined together for infinity. I currently don't have one, but have always thought about it. I just don't know what to get..... I'm out in the political business world for work, so it'll have to be discreet and small.

SamanthaBaker...

I want to apologize...but I'm not sure for what.

I was just wondering if anyone had a tattoo related to their emergence from this tough experience.

I am not a tattoo artist, nor do I have any part or interest in anything involving tattoos. I have no intentions of soliciting anything.

However, I'm sorry for any rule I broke.

I'm afraid to get one!!!!

[This message edited by mysticpenguin at 8:40 PM, October 19th (Saturday)]

If I had always wanted one prior to the affair but never pulled the trigger I could see doing it after, but I would never ever get one to symbolize this time n my life.

I have two tattoos---and am designing a third.

My first is a very simple "surrender" on the inside of my left wrist, facing so that I can read it.

This one marked a pivotal point in my healing. I had it done when I had truly accepted that the only things I can change are my OWN thoughts, feelings, and actions---and that I must surrender what I cannot control. It's been an anchor for me on the bad days that now come farther and farther apart. It is also placed in a way that it can be concealed by jewelry, if I care (which I rarely do).

I think there is someone in Wayward who got "surrender" added to her wrist after I mentioned it. It really is a great message. I think it should be the Official Tattoo of SI.

My second tattoo is on the side of my right foot, following the arch. It is a quote from a Unitarian Universalist minister. It says, "a living soul stands rooted and reaching." This, too, was related to my recovery from infidelity; it reminds me to stay grounded, but reach for new things.

I am working on a design similar to one I've seen online to add to place on the top of the same foot. (I'll post a pic later, after I walk the dog who's batting me with his impatient snout.) Basically,it's a stylized tree, with the root line separated from the trunk and branches by a heart. In the piece I've seen,it's all black; I would have the heart in red.

While both of these were added to my flesh post-d-day,they in NO way permit infidelity to define my life. They are empowering messages, and would be no matter what. Really, I've needed to accept the messages all along. I am happy to have them, have lived with them for a long time, and have no regrets at all. I don't think, "My husband cheated on me!" When I see them. I see, "I am in control of my own happiness."

It's a message we all should embrace.

The trick is finding a body part that isn't already saggy or will not be affected by the various nips and tucks I want to have, when I fall into a pile of life insurance---I mean win the lottery.

[This message edited by solus sto at 10:18 AM, August 8th (Thursday)]

No apologies, that was my fault. I linked to my blog where I have a picture of my tattoo that says:

"I Am Enough"

They were editing me, I wasn't soliciting, just sharing a pic of my tattoo, sorry.

Tattoos have special meaning to me. Mine symbolize who I am. I feel more beautiful with my tattoos. I have a few that are in the works but have to wait until after I'm done training and running a 5K next month...one for my middle DD, one for my youngest DD, and one for my angel baby. I probably will get something in the future. Most likely something to remind me of my strength and who I am. This whole thing has left me feeling worthless and I want something one day when I fully believe that I'm not. I don't want something that commemorates the abuse I've been through. But I'm not fully healed. Yes I've survived a lot...but I'm just not there yet feeling good. The Phoenix idea is always a popular one and it would fit with with other tattoos since almost all are Chinese themed. I just don't know at this point.

I, too already have a couple of subtle - sentimentally significant - tattoos.

If I do survive this latest bout with infidelity, I would like to have one related to it. Not to symbolize the infidelity - certainly. But to celebrate the survival, and coming out on the other side.

By the way - does anyone know how to know when you have survived?

I would not do that because:

1) tattos sound really painful, and momma doesn't do to great with pain

2) I don't want something to physically look at that will remind me of a terrible time in my life (even if it was symbolizing getting over that time). If I were to get a tattoo, it would be for ME, not some BS affair.

SamanthaBaker -

You have a pm.

My fWH wants to get matching ring finger tats. I dont really want a finger tat, especially because there's no telling if we'll be together for the rest of our lives. It would be a pain in the ass if I ever decided to leave and met someone else. Its not worth it for me. I would definitely be up for a symbol tat but he might not like what I draw up. I wanna get an female lion laying down in wild flowers with a holstein calf and a blue swimmer crab cuddled up together. It symbolizes me and my boys, we are all we'll ever need. Or a cracked/ torn heart, being struck by lightning while being stabbed by a dagger with Hs name on it. It symbolizes what hes done to insure that I have more issues than I need and that he hasn't helped me heal from past issues before he added to the pile. I could go on for days about tattos. Do what you feel you need to do. Its your body, your choice, your life. Good luck

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 10:54 AM, August 8th (Thursday)]

My WH and I got tattoos 2 weeks ago...2 weeks after DD. He had a band tattooed on his left ring finger, and we each got a puzzle piece that connects when put side-by-side.

We both have other tatts, but these felt sacred between us.

We are reminded that reconciliation will take hard work and dedication, but somehow we're going to pick up these pieces and put our puzzle back together.