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MrsDoubtfire ( member #24786) posted at 12:49 PM on Saturday, August 10th, 2013
You know what?
I was thinking what to answer but I just realized that...
I don't think I am afraid anymore.
Because I am a survivor and that if he EVER strayed again, I would hand him his shoes.
Just knowing that, empowers me.
This ^^^^^^
Although I wouldn't hand him his shoes.... I'd hand him the back of my sweet ass.... as it walks genteelly away from him 
I have no fear now and am glad I decided to R as I have no regrets and have a shiny new contrite and remorseful man to show for my troubles.
The man he was pre and during A? You can keep that asshole but this man- the fabulous H he has become? This H doesn't give me any cause to fear.
Hopefully you will be where I am one day and feel no fear.
BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†
Undone1 (original poster member #37683) posted at 7:35 PM on Saturday, August 10th, 2013
Thanks to those of you who showed us that we can move away from our fears and live in today. Living a fear filled life is horrible and I don't want to do it anymore.
For me I have needed to recognize what I am afraid of, look it straight in the eyes and know that I want to live a life filled with love instead of fear.
Again, thanks to everyone for sharing.
Undone1
Married 10+ years to my high school sweetheart
DDAY 10/27/12
Me 55
WH 55
Blended Family: 25, 21, and 20
Married 10 years
"The Universe Unfolds as it Should"
Gipper ( member #32232) posted at 12:08 PM on Sunday, August 11th, 2013
Snakes and clowns. After more than one DDay and 3 years of healing myself and ditching my co-dependant ways, I'm not afraid of anything as far as my M or my relationship with my wife goes.
That being said, if she woke me up dressed as a clown, holding a snake, there would be a incident.
CLRhope4her ( member #37243) posted at 2:11 PM on Sunday, August 11th, 2013
Thanks Gipper-that made me laugh. Needed that this morning
BW- Me 35 & WH- Him 38
OW- My BFF for 25 years
DDay- 6/28/12 Final truth- 7/28/12
“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.”
melamber ( member #38591) posted at 5:11 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013
D-DAY -22ND OCT 2012
MARRIED 9YRS
ME-33YRS
WH-35YRS
KIDS-THREE -9,7 AND 3
STATUS- ?
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 5:20 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013
I am well past the fear stage. In the early days, I feared wasting my time. Eventually, I came to accept that trying to put the pieces back together wasn't a "waste" of my time. If my kids were worth trying for, then it wasn't a waste.
I never feared "losing" him. Lord, I often wished he'd just go and stop being so dogged about staying together so I could go on my merry way.
Like others, if it happens again, he gets his walking papers. Game over. I think I would heal and move on quite quickly. Which is hard to explain, because while I love him deeply and am invested in my marriage, I could also readily move on if he were to betray me again. Perhaps this is just differentiation at work. I'm healthy - with or without him.
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
LoveActually ( member #31030) posted at 5:26 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013
My biggest fear is that he would do it again and if he did do it again, fully now knowing the agonizing pain an affair causes--well, that would make him a heartless monster--I don't think I could survive the pain again honestly.
BS (Me) WS (Him) D-Day 5/29/09Married 15 yrs, together 20 yrs
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