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Newest Member: mkei

Wayward Side :
Hating the triggers

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 jrr111800 (original poster new member #39919) posted at 4:44 AM on Sunday, August 11th, 2013

Let me start by saying it has been 1 month to the hr that D-day happened. For the most part my BS has been fairly good with the triggers but occasionally she will just throw in a comment or two then work herself up into a rage. I made a simple observation this evening and it turned into a barrage of anger fueled comments. I am frustrated because I know have no place in getting angry at the darts being thrown. How do you deal with your emotions all the while help them deal with theirs?

Me-WH-38
BS-40
Married 13yrs
DD July 13,2013
6 month EA 2-ONS

posts: 23   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2013   ·   location: Phx
id 6443310
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Card ( member #23667) posted at 2:10 PM on Sunday, August 11th, 2013

I kept reminding myself that she was venting.

When she finished her vent, I usually said something like; "I'm not that man anymore" I would follow that up with, "I'm making the changes necessary to protect you and our marriage so I never become that man again" I would hold her, soothing her in ways she wanted soothed through triggers. (we worked out multiple ways to sooth her, ones that she liked, during MC)

WH (me)
BS (her)


D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin

posts: 570   ·   registered: Apr. 17th, 2009
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