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Newest Member: WishingINeverLooked

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Living in the same town as OW

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 SoOver96 (original poster member #40169) posted at 3:38 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

Many of you have to be in my situation right? Well my question is how do you deal with it? I see her everywhere and my husband I feel like he just blows it off I was at relay for life with our kids (mine and husband) and she was there eye screwing me like I was the one messing with her man. Hell I can't believe my husband touched her nasty a$$ she claimed she was pregnant with my husbands child we have court documents that the child is not his but yet she brainwashes this kid and other people that this child is. How do you deal with this? Please would love some insight. Thank you

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6444760
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cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 3:45 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

This is a personal battle I could not endure. OW was fired. After 8 months, I had full blown PTSD. THey had to speak and work together all day. Luckily, she had to move after she lost her home. It was peak of recession. We now visit her city, about every 3 months. I go along for the trip, but its still upsetting for me. She is always, down the street or across the street. Literally. Its like a bomb. We havent seen her, but I know we will. In my situation, it was DD every minute. There is no way I could heal. I felt like ground hogs day movie. ANd it did a number on my head and heart. Still not over it. I couldnt even begin to heal with her near.

a trigger yesterday

posts: 4775   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2010   ·   location: athome
id 6444767
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sunflowergirl30 ( member #28979) posted at 3:51 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

Dont you just love how the ow looks at you the WIFE like you did something wrong or were screwing her man? Its hilarious but not in a laughing way but just...like "bitch are you serious?!"

If I had to see mow All the time id be a bigger mess than I already am. Im sorry you have to see her ugly face and that she doesnt have any sense to crawl back under her rock when she sees you.

First D-day May 2010, Last D-day Sept 2015. Filed for divorce Nov. 2015
Divorce final March 4, 2016

To many false R’s to mention. One to many affairs to list. Cheaters suck, suck the life right out of you, as they smile in your face..




posts: 1182   ·   registered: Jul. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Pacific Northwest
id 6444775
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 4:05 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

I have two OW in the same town. I also have PTSD from seeing him on top of one of them. I've about had it. Life is short and I cannot control my physical response when I see them. I recover faster now, as time goes by, but it's still unfair to me.

If it happens much more I will move, with him or without. I will not damage my psyche anymore with this type of bullshit.

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6444794
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 SoOver96 (original poster member #40169) posted at 4:20 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

Cancancrushed I hear you on that one i hate triggers i cry myself still to sleep becausheet seems like she's everywhere this isn't her first time with. Married men she's had 4 restraining orders from guys put 3 2 in divorce and a protection order against one. she had the nerve to move into my mothers old house after she moved out but my mom on the other hand started being friends with her best guy friend after the fact she knew her SNL cheated on her own daughter with her ugh do you go with him to be reassured he doesn't do anything he's not suppose to? Does she stalk you like OW does me? I believe these woman throw themselves at our spouses they are the weak ones cause they can't find a single man.

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6444820
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 SoOver96 (original poster member #40169) posted at 4:31 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

Sunflowergirl

I know just want to bitch slap her and say get your own man stop going for the married men because mine (she found out the hard way) he doesn't believe in divorce or being a step parent we had single mothers his has never been married many relationships though never known his father. He has seen my great grandparents been married for 65 years and he says he wants a marriage that last forever he says he wants it with me but actions speak louder even though he has made a lot of progress

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6444835
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cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 4:37 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

yes, He insists I go with him to her city. His company has several meetings there a year. Its getting old for me. But I dont see how I can stop. She is across the street and lives down the street from both locations. ANd she is aggressive. How long does this last?

a trigger yesterday

posts: 4775   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2010   ·   location: athome
id 6444844
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 4:45 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

Can you move?

I have the Ow in my town, too, and my XWH is with her now.

I see her everywhere.

My saving grace is my 5 year plan--actually 4 years and 10 months, now!!! I am moving when the youngest grad high school, and I try to keep my focus on my children and the beautiful poster of Florida I have on my bedroom wall! (which is where I'm headed in 4 years 10 months).

I get some of the same stuff you do, like all of his friends think they got together after he moved out, and his family is of no support at all.....I will have to see OW and my XWH at a football game friday night. I look my best and I sit far away from those two. AND it helps that I have heard she's cheating on my XWH!

XH picked up our children in her vehicle yesterday and boy was that a trigger! He wants a rise out of me, but I'm not giving it to him. because, remember, I know she's cheating on him !

IF my XH and I had made it, I would be hugging all over him and smiling when I saw her around town.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 6444862
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 SoOver96 (original poster member #40169) posted at 4:49 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

Rachelc

I do want to he wants to but he says there's no transfer yet I supported him for 4 years and that's how our problem started he thought I was cheating cause i had my ex on Im on facebook i kept the chat thing on my tool bar so but I was distant I got both my boys in scouts I was volunteering at my youngest sons school because he was getting bullied every school day I got my daughter was cutting herself because her friends at school were doing it. They all three going to counseling and I was going to counseling my husband was not looking for a job he was sleeping til 1 pm I couldn't handle anymore and I hadn't gotten over the fact that he cheat on me the first time with her

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6444871
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 SoOver96 (original poster member #40169) posted at 4:59 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

Homewreaked

I would love to move we are saving income tax but because mine doesn't take tax out we only have tax from this year he just got a steady job last year. Im so ready we had things packed but then he couldn't get a transfer and now he might get the other guys job and get a dollar raise

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6444891
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 SoOver96 (original poster member #40169) posted at 5:02 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

Homewreaked

I do like your 5 year plan is it safe to say your xhusband is getting his karma

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6444899
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Lovedyoumore ( member #35593) posted at 5:42 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

The OW did not work where my H worked, but they met through a work related organization. To lessen the chance meetings, he took a job in another city. We are moving away from our home city to another state to get away from any physical contact, mainly by me. I cannot stand how she shows up at "our" places. These are places that she did not frequent pre A, but because she as made my H's life her business, she has taken them as her own. The last time I saw her, she was prancing into our church. Not even her denomination.

I regret leaving our town, and it adds another layer of sorrow to the A, but we need to go for us.

Me 50's
WH 50's
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose

posts: 3626   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Southern, bless your heart
id 6444983
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 SoOver96 (original poster member #40169) posted at 10:13 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013

Lovedyoumore

I love the name by the way and not be sarcastic but doesn't it seem we love them much more than they ever could love us. We plan on moving I have one in high school one going into high school next year he's the one that doesn't want to move because his girl and one starting middle school we have been in the same spot for 17

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6445387
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