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wannarun (original poster member #36871) posted at 3:44 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
Yes the walking dead!! I see those creepy zombies on TV and video games my son and his friends play they just moan and walk around in a trans-like state with their milky eyes and old worn out clothes!! okay I'm not quite that obviously zombiefied on the outside!! close but not quite!! but on the inside ^^^^ this is so how i feel!! Why can't the quiet little voice inside telling me I can, be as loud and convincing as the big voice that keeps pushing me down making me believe I can't?!? Just can't find the spark...... Feeling a big internal struggle this morning!! Really hating my life these days!! I can't really say it has a whole lot to do with my WH a itself, more the way it has made me more aware of the things I hate about myself and the feeling that these things are part of who I am and can't be changed!! Therefore I'll never be good enough there will always be something wrong with me!! These feelings have bled over into the parts of me that were good and worthy and killed them!! So now I'm a Zombie!! Yes the walking dead!!
Me/BS - 41 him/WS - 42 2-boys 11&4
DD- Aug 2011 plus several in the months that followed ~ He said "I just needed someone to talk to" I asked if "Oprah was hiding in her panties" he wasn't amused!
simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 3:51 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
(((HUGS)))
I'm sorry you're feeling that way. You're not a zombie and that "I can" voice will become louder and squash that "I can't" voice. There is nothing wrong with me. Keep saying that to yourself "There is nothing wrong with me."
(((HUGS)))
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
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