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General :
Emails from OW and WH cut and pasted

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Chicky ( member #18622) posted at 6:52 AM on Sunday, August 18th, 2013

Good for you standing up for yourself!!

If you are comfortable doing so, I would love to read the email you sent them! Hell, I would pay good money to have been a fly on the wall when they read what you had to say.

Givers need to set limits because takers never do. THIS GIVER DID and because I stood my ground, we are happily RECONCILED!

posts: 1025   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2008   ·   location: Planet Earth
id 6453070
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 Spelljean (original poster member #35624) posted at 4:06 AM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

I will post my email.....

WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

posts: 1037   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6453924
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CM86 ( new member #40331) posted at 6:40 AM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

What a BITCH!!!!! Excuse my French but how f***ing dare she?!?! Please do divorce him and send those emails to everyone- including her friends, family, boss if you know them. I may be sounding vindictive but this is beyond crossing a line. He will cheat on her I guarantee it. She is a self entitled piece of crap. He's no saint by any means but she knew he was married and it is obvious in the emails that she pursued him

posts: 9   ·   registered: Aug. 16th, 2013   ·   location: Missouri
id 6454051
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 7:56 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

This is WHO YOU ARE, and she does not like it and wants you to change the essence of your being.

Just re-read this post and this struck me as hilarious.

Yes, MrSpelljean, this is who you are. A lying, cheating sumbitch. That is the very "essence" of your "being".

Of course Spelljean doesn't like it and wants WH's "essence" to change. Love when the AP's get all cerebral and try to convince their AP's into the "relationship" and convince them they (the AP) are who they really want. If you have to talk someone to be "into" you, doesn't sound like it is going to be a very solid relationship.

Very insecure OW. That ain't gonna change when OW wins the "prize".

eta: Looking forward to you posting your e-mail, Spelljean. (((spelljean)))

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 1:58 PM, August 19th (Monday)]

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6454712
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Reality ( member #39077) posted at 8:21 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

(((Spelljean!)))

Holy hell. I thought one of our OW was bad with her "You're trying to be someone you're not" by being married and having kids and all that. But that witch wins. Yeah, talk about blatant manipulation and self delusion. WOW.

I'm so sorry, Spell! I'm not sure what's worse in those emails - seeing the OW be a complete cliche idiot or you having to have it reaffirmed your WH is too!

Argh. Love to you and disgust to them both!

posts: 292   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2013
id 6454751
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jackie89 ( member #38271) posted at 9:18 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

Wow the Audacity of this OW! I can't imagine how hard it must of been for you to read these emails.

Good for you for standing up to yourself! Love that you sent all the emails to friends/relatives for all to see.

Hugs to you!

posts: 869   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2013   ·   location: SE PA
id 6454844
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 9:30 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

Oh God. I'm sorry Spelljean. How awful to have to read that.

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 6454862
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selkiescot ( member #23777) posted at 9:45 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

it boggles my mind that anyone can be this selfish and self involved. Good grief I just want to smack her upside the head for you.

I am so sorry Spelljean

The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

posts: 1411   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2009   ·   location: CT
id 6454881
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tryingmybest2011 ( member #32584) posted at 2:52 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

Pffft.

Her inner voice is going to drive her insane screaming like a banshee when he is "out" all the time without her, as she encourages him to do. You know, so he can be his true authentic social self and what not. Shame on Spelljean for stifling his social core and being an obligation and just...existing.

Those emails infuriate me! I am so sorry.

What a load of horse shit. Gah.

BS: me - 42
WH: him - 42
DD: 12
DD: 5

Married over 12 years, together for 21.

DD#1: 12/12/10 - LTA of 3 years, 2 mos.
DD#2: 02/02/11 - 2 EA/PA with coworkers, a month after the LTA was ended (by OW).

posts: 373   ·   registered: Jun. 24th, 2011   ·   location: Ontario Canada
id 6455296
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tryingmybest2011 ( member #32584) posted at 2:53 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

Pffft.

Her inner voice is going to drive her insane screaming like a banshee when he is "out" all the time without her, as she encourages him to do. You know, so he can be his true authentic social self and what not. Shame on Spelljean for stifling his adventurous core and being an obligation and just...existing.

Those emails infuriate me! I am so sorry.

What a load of horse shit. Gah.

BS: me - 42
WH: him - 42
DD: 12
DD: 5

Married over 12 years, together for 21.

DD#1: 12/12/10 - LTA of 3 years, 2 mos.
DD#2: 02/02/11 - 2 EA/PA with coworkers, a month after the LTA was ended (by OW).

posts: 373   ·   registered: Jun. 24th, 2011   ·   location: Ontario Canada
id 6455298
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 Spelljean (original poster member #35624) posted at 4:42 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

Thanks for the support. Since my copy and paste on my ipad is being stubborn...

I responded to OW's email about WH telling her he was already filing for divorce as " uh, no he hasnt. He told me last night he doesn't even want to discuss divorce."

And to her email about sitting on the beach with him watching sunsets together, i said "WH said last night he couldn't wait to go to Monterey with me"

To the one about me attempting to put out his fire and keep him from his social life and control him I said "WH told me you wrote him tons of letters and plans of how he was to behave, and he never read one self help book you gave him...so who is controlling who here? He said your talk of healthy boundaries drove him insane"

She ot pissed and wrote back "i don't give a shit what you two do then.". She demanded WH speak up since the three of us were on the email chain! WH never answered.

Pa. Thet. Ic.

WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

posts: 1037   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6455411
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sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 5:50 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

She demanded WH speak up since the three of us were on the email chain! WH never answered.

That is just so perfect after all that rubbish she'd been waffling on about - I'd love to have seen her face.

Mind you, I reckon he probably has written her since trying to say he didn't answer while you could read it because you were just trying to cause 'trouble between them' .... and frankly - just how stupid can this woman be? If she believes that, then she's really desperate to 'win' ... because the only message worth receiving from him is one you both could see. You know that - does she?

spelljean, you handled this perfectly. I love it that she knows that you saw all that pontificating she did - and her worrying about whether he was telling her the truth about the divorce - and now she knows he wasn't...and you witnessed it! Perfect!

You put in him a position where he had to handle this publicly, where you both could see, or show his true face as a complete liar. His silence proves he's a liar to you both. You have texts to prove what you're saying - if he'd tried to deny it with her watching - and you've already seen his e-mails to her - he was trapped, and he knew it. I'd like to hope that she had the brains to feel humiliated and finally see the real truth - but after reading her previous words - I doubt it.

....and all those others you told? Well they can see the same. You're 100% right spelljean. He is Pa.Thet.Ic.

[This message edited by sinsof thefather at 11:39 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)]

...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

posts: 2598   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2010   ·   location: UK
id 6455452
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Ellephantastic ( member #39833) posted at 5:29 PM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

oh god

words can not describe how hurt I am for you! I never had to read messages that WBF sent to OW, only messages he sent to his 'friends' about A and which attack me and so many other horrible horrendous things that I don't want to think about.

Keep strong hunny

BS(me)
WBF = PA
Ow = 19(at the time)
WBF A = 08/10/2012-17/10/2012
D-Day = 24/01/2013

"It was easier for him to hurt me than it was for him to turn her down"

posts: 80   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2013   ·   location: Scotland
id 6455969
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Housefulloflove ( member #38458) posted at 5:40 PM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

Yuck! You can see the back-and-forth manipulation just in these few exchanges. These two POS deserve the misery they are guaranteed to bring each other.

I'm so sorry SpellJean. Let her have that POS. Then she can continue to try to polish that turd into a diamond. She deserves the wasted time and effort and you do not!

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

posts: 541   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6455985
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 Spelljean (original poster member #35624) posted at 5:46 PM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

thank you all so much for all your support.

Yes, I was made out to be the bad guy again. So stupid, after they've been seeing eachother for a year and a half now (off and on) and I'm still a topic of discussion.

And here I am just going about my life and he is still using me by exaggerating about our marital past to her. Its stupid and a waste of a life.

And she bought it and ran with it.

I just told him nt to bother me anymore

WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

posts: 1037   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6455993
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foreverchanged61 ( member #36931) posted at 6:13 PM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

Spelljean-

This ow has so many voices going on in her how can she hear only one! Seriously, As for her complaints or trying to tear you down just proves you are much better than her. You can't tear down something below you. Also, the controlling comments that's her projecting. I guess classic crazy. Let them ride off into the sunset he will be bucked off within feet. Just my thoughts on the subject.

me:BS-41
Him:WS-41
Married 18 years
DS-16
DD-14
D-Day 11/2010
Trying hard at R
OW 29 (27 then) SAHM pure white trash

posts: 75   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2012   ·   location: South Carolina
id 6456034
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