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SecondHelping (original poster member #36796) posted at 3:49 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2013
sportsfan,
After this post, I'm not going there or asking her to. She asked me not to ask her the next day and I agreed. WHen I mentioned it, I wasn't even thinking about her feelings until after I said it.
I'm still perplexed at the not remembering the A though. She has a bad memory, but can remember sharp details when she wants to.
D-Day 1: Feb 1990
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/2 week PA)
BS 49, fWW 43 (Amibroken)
OP- Police Chief (Age 37)
M 25 Yrs, 3 Kids (17, 14, 11)
I initated the relationship at the Railway Tavern, she tried to end it at Scrap Tavern
mrcpu ( member #38157) posted at 8:49 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2013
HOLY COW! When I read the original post I thought to myself "Did I post that and don't remember?!?!"
I swear this is exactly what I'm facing. Some of it early on was TT (although "minor" since I have her electronic diary). What happens now is that I bring things up and ask her questions and she tells me she doesn't remember. I can't really tell if she is actually blocking these memories or simply lying to me to avoid telling me, even though I have tried to show her that she can talk to me and I won't freak out.
There were a couple of really bad fights in our marriage years ago. One in particular occurred when I was watching TV and she walked into the room and demanded the controller so she could change the channel. I refused and she stormed off to our bedroom. Moments later I heard a CRASH and when I went to investigate I found my laptop smashed. To this day she can look me in the eye and tell me she doesn't remember this happening. I get very angry when I think about her not remembering. I would feel much happier if she simply acknowledged she lost her temper. Nothing pisses me off more than someone who lies to your face when you have evidence (I took photos of the smashed laptop).
I'm not really sure what I'm afraid of when I'm lied to like that, maybe I'm afraid that there is more I don't know and that the R is false.
D-Day 1: 22 Dec 2012 - Confirmed WW was having an affair with my xBFF
D-Day 2: 22 July 2014 - Caught WW working on a hookup online with local real estate agent.
D-Day 3: 18 Dec 2014 - Caught WW Breaking NC with my xBFF for past 2 months via text.
64fleet ( member #18710) posted at 9:00 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2013
Nothing pisses me off more than someone who lies to your face when you have evidence
Mine has done the same thing.
I feel the biggest impediment to R is no recollection.
The bad part is wondering when she will decide to do it again(or maybe the other one decides?).
WhiteCarrera ( member #29126) posted at 7:23 AM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
I agree with ladya! It's all about self-preservation.
I've said it before,and I'll say it again. "I don't remember" usually means, "I don't want to tell you."
Married 13 years @ D-Day in 2009. Still hanging in there (maybe by a thread sometimes)
ccw82 ( member #40133) posted at 4:02 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
Yes! A thousand times, YES! It *IS* self preservation, which is yet another form of their selfishness IMO.
Me (BW): 39
WXH (1DumbHusband): 43
We were married for over 11 years; now divorced.
BIG D-Day: June 17th, 2013
Too many freaking TTs that cost us our marriage in the end.
"Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice."
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