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Alwaysangry (original poster new member #39806) posted at 10:48 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2013
Idk what I'm still doing here. He's a selfish pig and whether or not he is cheating or not, he will always be a selfish pig.
All we do is fight. He made a rude sexual joke and it may very well have been a joke I was offended. He got mad at me for being mad. He got a call from a friend to be a dd and I was a little uneasy about it cause i knew the girl was at the bar. He left anyway. Says its because I was already mad and it didn't matter. He didn't go in. He has to pass a physical test. We have a treadmill at home, he hasn't touched it. But now is in a hurry to go run at the gym because he has to pass. Another thing that makes me uneasy. For reason related to his cheating. He says well failing makes him uneasy and he's looking forward not back.
He always tells me he lives in the present not the past and I need to also.
He gets so mad I won't sing or dance for him. Like he hasn't crushed my self esteem or given me 100 reasons to not want to be all happy.
He has weeks where he is perfect. But he can never consistently be helpful to me. It always comes back to its hard for him too.
Why am I still here ??
Alwaysangry (original poster new member #39806) posted at 10:56 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2013
Oh. It depends on his moods whether he can be helpful and understanding or not.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 10:57 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2013
He always tells me he lives in the present not the past and I need to also.
Mine has told me this too. But we cannot live in the present until the past is addressed.
Are you seeing a counselor? I would get into seeing an IC not MC because your WH does not seem very remorseful.
Also look into the 180 in the healing library. It has helped me gain the strength I needed to push through.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
Alwaysangry (original poster new member #39806) posted at 11:05 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2013
Yes we see both.
I have tried the 180 but he gets suspicious of me when I'm doing it.
And no his remorse is only if I'm in a good mood.
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