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Jt40 (original poster new member #36620) posted at 4:01 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
Me BS 40 (at the time)
Husband WS 47 (at the time)
Married 17 years (at the time)
3 children
6-8 month PA 1/08-8/08
D-day 8-24-2008
Reconciled
AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 4:08 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 5:45 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
(((Jt40)))
Sending you strength.
ccw82 ( member #40133) posted at 7:18 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
Jt,
As a newbie to all of this, may I ask you: Does it still hurt as much now as it did 5 years ago? Will the internal pain and suffering ever end, or will it subside and occur less frequently (but always be there in some form)?
Me (BW): 39
WXH (1DumbHusband): 43
We were married for over 11 years; now divorced.
BIG D-Day: June 17th, 2013
Too many freaking TTs that cost us our marriage in the end.
"Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice."
Jt40 (original poster new member #36620) posted at 1:10 AM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013
Thank you for the hug Chicho and jo2love- just what I needed :)
ccw82-
It all does get better over time. I find ways of avoiding the dark places my mind sometimes wanders and once in a while I wallow there. I would equate my pain level now, 5 years out- to a bad bruise, it is there and it hurts if you push on it but is fine if you leave it alone. I was really hoping that by this time I would have gotten past the affair and have no hurtful memories of it but unfortunately that is not the case for me. My daughter and the ow's daughter are close friends and they play two sports together at the high school level so we see the ow often and I have a lot of triggers. My husband is hurt and dissappointed when I mention the betrayal so I try to keep my moments of hurt and my triggers to myself, they don't last very long. There has not been a day go by since D day that I have not thought about it - although now it is a brief consideration and fleeting feelings of hurt and not a continuous screeching, annoying migraine pain hammering in my heart and in my mind making me feel like I was spiraling out of control like it was for the first two to three years. I remember that pain but I don't feel it anymore which is good.
I have to believe it will continue to get better. I can easily live with this bruise but I hope it fades away one day and I am surprised that I did not realize it was gone.
Hang in there, better moments are in your future!
Me BS 40 (at the time)
Husband WS 47 (at the time)
Married 17 years (at the time)
3 children
6-8 month PA 1/08-8/08
D-day 8-24-2008
Reconciled
RidingHealingRd ( member #33867) posted at 4:45 AM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013
As I approach the 3 year mark I too have not had one day, not one single day, that I have not thought of my WH disgusting A. Fortunately, like you, the daily though does not terrorize me as it once did.
I just read your post to my WH to show him that affairs haunt many BSs daily, and sadly probably forever.
{{{Jt40}}}
ME: 60 BS
HIM: 67 WH
Married: 35 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 10 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
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