Ohhhh this is where I am and I am dreading it.
My H dropped bomb of his LTA 3 weeks ago. It was way messed up- the how, the what, everything was so bad that night.
By 7am the next morning, the dumb ass goes into our older daughters room and she was up reading or something, and he started hugging her and telling her he is always going to love her no matter what....well, she is pretty smart and intuitive and she was all over that and started with 100 questions.
Apparently, she asked if we were getting a divorce (after did someone die, are we moving?) and he said Daddy did something wrong, and mommy and daddy are just talking now, and then she kept asking questions why, why what did you do, etc.
Picture me in my room- less than 12 hours ago my husband and best friend who I thought was happy and loved me told me of his affair and that (at least at this time in his evolving story) that he loves her and loves me and wants us both. SO, I am in my room crying and talking on the phone to my BFF on the east coast...
In comes my 9yo DD crying and yelling "why are you getting divorced. I am sure Daddy is sorry and didn't mean it. You always said if we do something bad you would still love us...." and by this point my other DD, 7, had come running in when she heard all this and she is on the bed crying saying "I am so confused, what is happening"
OMG. I was in shock, is he completely insane?? I held the kids to me and mouthed to him to get. the. fuck. out. now. And that is when I kicked him out- for laying that emotionally laden bullshit on the kids like that.
So now, he has been seeing them. Has them right now as a matter of fact. But, we haven't said much more than "mommy and daddy both love you." "we are working on some adult problems" "we don't really know what is going to happen" and "I know your sad, I am sad too, and I am sorry"
Sigh.....so this week going to see separation/divorce/parenting therapist as we can't communicate at this point but we need to figure out how to best handle this for the kids.
Any Advice???