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Hate having to leave my house in the morning to go to work, not because I hate work( I have a cool job) but because I hate having her feel like I don’t want to be around her. Far from it, I dread Sunday evenings because I know once I go to bed I won’t see her til late Monday evening. I won’t be able to hold her when she gets angry, when she is sad, when she worries tell her I love her. I want to just be around her at every waking moment. I hate waking up and she is sleeping on the couch or laying in a kids bed. I ask myself why didn’t she come to bed, what is she feeling at the moment, what do I need to do to help her. I wish I didn’t work so far away, I wish my days weren’t such long days, I wish I wasn’t a selfish jack-ass and put us in this position. I am sure I am not alone in this but it does feel lonely and hopeless at the moment.

Jrr...

I have many nights when I just can't sleep in our bed. This is not because I don't want to, I do very much. The OW was never in our personal bed.....just the one she shared with him when he was far away from me

My reasons for having to sleep somewhere else is to stop the movies in my head or stop the thoughts of what if that can infiltrate my mind at night. I need my sleep now big time. Having a heart attack makes sleep manditroy and for those nights where my mind is far too active I find relief sleeping in other locations. From now on the better way of doing things might be to ask her why she couldn't sleep in the same bed with you. There might be a good explination. You might find out a good way of helping her through her hell that you didn't kow about because you never asked.

I now know to tell my hubby why I had the need to sleep somewhere else. He appreciates my openness. He always comes and finds me and he always brings me back to our bed and snuggles me under his arm.

[This message edited by TxsT at 12:41 PM, August 26th (Monday)]

darn message posted twice so I came and errased the second post.

T

[This message edited by TxsT at 12:40 PM, August 26th (Monday)]

I feel exactly the same way when I have to go anywhere especially work because it is a part of my past affair. I feel like if I am away from her, that I am a bigger trigger to her even though that may not be how she feels as she doesn't feel safe with me even when I am in the house with her as I was sneaky at home in the past as well.

I wish I were retired.

isles...

we had one thing going for us in this department. My hubby left his former job and we moved back home to take the mantle of the family business. As the two business are not related at all he no longer travels and has no contact with her through business. I can't tell you what a relief it is for me. I would know exactly how your wife feels if we were still in a situation where not only did he see her every day but also travel with her on business. That's how she got access to him in the first place. They were on a business trip together and she took a sexual fancy in him. The rest is history.

T

I currently work night shift and believe me it hurts sometimes when I see my BW not being herself and I have no choice but to hug her and kiss her goodnight. But we do text each other and sometimes I do call my BW just to hear if she is ok.

I don't intend on keeping this job for very long as I am planning on a business which will change alot of my lifestyle and also have more time with my BW. I do miss my BW when I leave for work and when I come home in the morning I am greeted by my BW which tells me that there is feelings and its good.

Learning to love myself for who I am and to give love back to the world, brilliant.

As a wayward husband I feel the same way. I look forward to the weekends because I know I will be around my BS. Even though she won't let me be affectionate with her yet I still feel so much better just being near her.

Every night I go and sit on the corner of her bed and we talk but I usually break down on my lonely walk down the hall into the spare bedroom where I sleep. I am really struggling with how we can talk about normal things during the day and then she retreats and will not talk to me about the betrayal. It gives a false sense that everything is OK only to have it taken away each night.

I know I'm the stupid jerk that put us in this position but it doesn't change the fact that I'm broken over it. I long to be able to hold her hand, hug her, kiss her etc. I love her so much and I want to show her so bad.