SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I can't decide whether I love him or hate him.

So before I found out about A he had left weeks before. I had been checked usage daily and no repeating numbers other than ones I knew. But he put a craigslist ad out to see a car with another number on it. He claims it was his friends number because he didnt want to use his business number (cell). At the time I believed him but his "friends" number never once comes up in his phone usage on the bills. So when I first asked him about it he was like oh I have calls blah blah and showed me a missed call that said "name- number" which was his friends name and the phone number.

Now I just realized that the missed call coincided with the date the craigslist ad was posted. I am guessing now that he called himself in order to get the phone number.

I have aske him repeatedly since finding out if he was still talking to her he said no. I have asked about second phone he says no. But clearly I am being lied to right?

Most likely yes . It is scary how similar everyone's actions are in these situations . No closure , no remorse , and no answers make you start digging and looking back trying to make sense of it all . I did the same . For me she lied and denied till the very end and never gave closure or remorse at all so I know your feelings you will find a lot more answers the further you dig just make sure you are prepared for them . For me digging and putting puzzle pieces together helped me realize I was not crazy the whole two years prior and that I was right in my suspicions and " jealousy" as she called it. For some people finding the answers is worse. My opinion is to go with your gut and do not let him make you think you are crazy ! He will try

He is very good at gas-lighting. Just denied again. I don't see the point in continuing to lie.

How can I ask it in a different way. It is so annoying to be lied to point blank. Then I second guess myself. Like what if he is telling the truth. When I confronted her she texted him hours later. I checked his usage and saw her Number appear in the text usage as received texts and I aske him about it and he said she texted him to tell him I was calling her. But there was never a text sent back. And this all happened months after the contact seemed to end. Also he showed me she sent him a text the other day on some online texting thing. He had responded with "I'm working and I told you I couldn't talk to you anymore".

So on one hand it seems he does have a second phone and on the other it doesn't.

Not sure what all you can do to actually check the number out, but, search his vehicle when you know he can't catch you. Search places or things of his you know you never would look at even if nothing was going on.

I found the power cord to my WW's second phone on the floorboard of her car. She told me it was our SD's. I even asked if it was to a second phone. If I had just looked in the car I would have found it. I discovered the second phone by going into her e-mail account; and there was a emailed statement in her deleted file.

Be sneaky, quit bringing it up. The more you bring it up, the more on guard he will be. Have somebody you know call the number and inquire about the Craigslist item. See if he uses the number to answer or call the person back after a message.

Hope this helps. I feel for you having that gut feeling and unable to get the answers you need. I still, am not getting the truth from my WW. I can easily tell she is lying. Admits to just texting for 5 months. Probably 1000 texts a month, but, nothing happened. Denies sexting, which I found provocative texts between the two. Still denies. Unbelievable!!!

(((Eyeofthetiger))) I don't understand these WS's that do this cowardly lying act. My WH lied until the proof was staring him in the face. It's why we are having difficulty in R. I'm still not convinced my WH won't do it again. This whole experience has just floored me.

Second phone is what I worry about. I can check everything else. I just hate being the investigator. I have been enjoying my life lately and don't want to go there again.

Stop asking him. Listen to your gut..trust that..not the word of a liar. Stop asking..start looking.

Search his car..search the truck,where the spare tire is,look under the jack,under his seats,in the lining of the seats,search everywhere.

Search the garage..everywhere.

Search the bathroom...his clothes,his pockets in the clothes in the closet,search his shoes.

Look everywhere.

Asking him will get you nothing but pissed off. If he has another phone...and it sure sounds like he does...he will just continue to gaslight you...he got the phone to deceive you,admitting he has it will mean you will find out the affair is continuing..game over..no more cake for him..so he will continue to lie.

Does OW have a BH? Maybe you can talk to him,tell him your suspicions,and he can check his wife's cell or their online bill for that number?

He doesn't live at home anymore. He doesn't want to R anyways. The OW is 19 and does not have a SO from what I can see.

It's hard to look when you don't have access.

I call the number now and it says "the number you are trying to reach cannot accept calls at this time".

I guess I just assume he does and the affair is worse than what he says and is still going on. Because I cannot find definite proof due to no access. It's not like we even have a chance to R anyways.

Im sorry,Eye. I didn't realize he wasn't living with you.

(((((Eott)))))