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huRtZ413 (original poster member #39214) posted at 2:11 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
She denied the charges and got away with it the world is so unfair ! WH got demoted and her nothing ! I hate her and she deserves to rot that lying piece of cheap ass
me_BW
him_WH
I'M ON THE FENCE
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 2:29 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
Your WH has no evidence of the affair? No texts? No emails? Nothing on the online cell log? No pics?
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 2:36 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
TheClimb ( member #25895) posted at 2:43 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
If that's the case, why demote WH? Because he admitted he had an affair? So, if she denies it and they "believe" her it seems they should not have penalized your WH either. I mean, he didn't have an affair by himself!
I get your anger, many times it seems that these "women" are total unscathed. If I ever figure out how to deal with the whole injustice of it all, I will let you know.
"That which can be destroyed by the truth should be" P.C. Hodgell
huRtZ413 (original poster member #39214) posted at 2:55 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
He admitted to an affair that was enough to charge him but no evidence to prove it was her so they just see it as he say she say ........
me_BW
him_WH
I'M ON THE FENCE
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 5:47 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
If he can show proof of the affair to his boss,chances are she will be fired..not only for the affair..but for denying it.
Ask him. Surely they had some contact other than talking at work.
I hate to see her get away with it. IIRC,you told her BH,right? Did you follow up to make sure he got your message?
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Kelany ( member #34755) posted at 5:56 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
Uh yeah, I'd be putting together a nice package of evidence and mailing it to their boss. Call/text logs, e-mails, etc.
What proof do you have that you showed her BH? How did you find out?
BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
TxsT ( member #39996) posted at 6:02 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
I agree with Samantha....
If you can't immediately find some evidence go to a specialist. They are adept at finding this stuff. Your computer is a good place to look too.
In my case I have used this evidence and hung it over the AP's head. I told her it would all come out if she contacted my H again. Her job is the most important thing in her world.
Funny thing was Karma step up first before I had to do anything. Her coworkers finally complained enough about her nasty business manners at the office ! The ones that escalated into hateful actions since the A has been outed, and she was demoted internally for this. I still have the evidence though that would get her fired completely.
T
Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)
Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!
huRtZ413 (original poster member #39214) posted at 8:17 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
i dont have any solid evidence that they would take which is witness other than my WH of course video or a confession its really sucks, alos i told her BH and he doesnt care in fact he told my WH everyone makes mistakes and he is backing his WW on her effort to deny it all , they are all fucked up in my book and nobody cared about me the ppl doing the invest. actually advised her to deny it because alot of the cases come out unfounded because nobody saw and nobody had undeniable proof like video
they tried to get my WH to deny it but he didnt because he told them what would it look like to deny and come home and try to work on my marriage that he needed to pay .....but that pathetic piece of crap of course she denied it
[This message edited by huRtZ413 at 2:22 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]
me_BW
him_WH
I'M ON THE FENCE
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 8:23 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
This was an ongoing affair..an EA that resulted in one night of sex..am I correct?
If so..I find it highly unlikely that they didn't communicate outside of work. Chances are there was a secret email account..or another phone. Surely they sent texts,called,or emailed at some point,even if only a few times.
Your WH JUST came clean with you a few weeks ago..after lying for months. It is possible he hasn't told you everything..I know you want to believe he has..that *now* he is being honest with you...I get that...BTDT..but it's highly unlikely. He spent months lying to you to protect the OW...it's possible he is still protecting her.
Im sorry.
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 8:29 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
Honesty has consequences. Your H found it in himself to man up and do right, and accept those consequences. That she gets away with it because she's still lying, maybe that's forever. Or maybe that catches up to her later and she has to explain to her company why she lied to their faces, if ever it comes down on her. It sucks, but that's her dead end to race towards.
I admit when I saw the title of this thread I envisioned a kind of race scene through the woods with shouted words and waving torches and pitchforks though. "She went to ground but, we git the hounds come morn. Dem hounds, smell 'er out. Dig 'er out. Mornin', mornin' sunshine."
The reality is better though. Cleaner at least.
eta:
Confused615 makes some solid points though and those should definitely be considered.
[This message edited by StillGoing at 2:30 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]
huRtZ413 (original poster member #39214) posted at 8:43 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
well , i had text but nothing that proved much it was one text saying she liked him ,an wanted to kiss him but nothing that showed they actually did anything and i told them that and they said that its not enough to charge because she didnt say they had sex and thats what she is being charged with . they didnt have a long txt history IPHONE YOU SEE EVERYTHING ! it really was work stuff and only got that txt the weekend it happened he says it wasnt EA cause he didnt feel anything for her he didnt share personal info but she shared with him .....that he never considered her a friend and how they flirted but never thought it would get that far and it did , i obviously feel like i cant trust im not dumb but based on how she acted and came off she didnt know shit about him other than he was married she didnt even ever call him by his first name since they go by last names that shit got flirty maybe two weeks before their trip and it wasnt til he got to Penns. when she i guess saw her chance to txt him that crap and he just had to know why she liked him so much and talking turned into kissing and kissing turned into well you know......and that when he stopped her she told him she understood because she loved her fiance too and he told her not to talk to him and so on andso that story matches the BH story idk it all sucks i wish i could end her
[This message edited by huRtZ413 at 2:45 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]
me_BW
him_WH
I'M ON THE FENCE
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